absolutely fantastic.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
awful(ly funny)
hahaha ok so anyone who ever walked home the way i did in oregon would know why this cracks me up...there was an apartment building i walked past every day that had a huge annoying sign that that said "if you lived here, you'd be home now."...which was then defaced to say "if you lived here, you'd be boned by now." which was awesome because it was a way shady building and that was probably factual.
anyway, this brought a tear of nostalgia to my eye and a smile of dark humor to my mouth for the nice jab at advertising.
my life be like
Montastic's hot new fav:
My Life Be Like by Grits. Shore do like 'em!
I also like the jammer: They All Fall Down but couldn't find a vid. sadface.
My Life Be Like by Grits. Shore do like 'em!
I also like the jammer: They All Fall Down but couldn't find a vid. sadface.
Friday, March 7, 2008
la parola del giorno
it's time for a new word of the day, a parola del giorno.
mancarsi (v) to be lacking itself
pronounced: mawn - car - ay
or, as we americani are more used to saying.... missing.
A few things Montastic is missing:
5 pounds
hawaiian time huli huli chicken
peeps (namely: chase, borq, matteo, hughby, jones, perrypants, marcus, luke, mr k, and ronnie)
sanity
functioning ankles
a reason
oregon
italy
long nails
spooning
my V-card
the fam fam
part of my front tooth
one ring of my 3-ring set
pepperjack cheese
hmmm.. that's all i got! or don't got, i suppose.
so what are you missing?? che cosa ti manca?
Thursday, March 6, 2008
THE MGTKWHIABOWHC
The Montastic Guide to Knowing what His Intentions are Based on When he Calls.
otherwise known as The MGTKWHIABOWHC. duh.
scenario: a guy gets your number.
option 1:
He calls the same day/night.
explanation:
booty call. unless of course you had already agreed that he would call you later that day to meet up again. well, actually, it's still for booty.
option 2:
He calls the next day.
explanation: man i really wanna booty call this chick but i dont wanna seem like it's a booty call so i'll call her tomorrow and she'll be none the wiser. mwa ha ha ha ha.
option 3:
He calls 2-4 days later.
explanation: he MAY actually be interested but, more than likely, he's just playing that stupid "wait-3-days-to-call" game so that you think he's a gentlman. in reality, booty call.
option 4:
He calls a week a more later.
explanation: he forgot who you were and decided to call and figure out when drunk because hey, maybe you're hot and down for some fun times tonight. OR he remembered who you were but had to get really desperate before actually calling you again because frankly, he's just not that into it. either way.... insulting booty call.
option 5:
He never calls.
explanation:
He likes boys.
(exceptions to the above are few and far between. 1 in 4.5 million. and that's a scientific fact.)
This public service announcement brought to you by Montastic.
otherwise known as The MGTKWHIABOWHC. duh.
scenario: a guy gets your number.
option 1:
He calls the same day/night.
explanation:
booty call. unless of course you had already agreed that he would call you later that day to meet up again. well, actually, it's still for booty.
option 2:
He calls the next day.
explanation: man i really wanna booty call this chick but i dont wanna seem like it's a booty call so i'll call her tomorrow and she'll be none the wiser. mwa ha ha ha ha.
option 3:
He calls 2-4 days later.
explanation: he MAY actually be interested but, more than likely, he's just playing that stupid "wait-3-days-to-call" game so that you think he's a gentlman. in reality, booty call.
option 4:
He calls a week a more later.
explanation: he forgot who you were and decided to call and figure out when drunk because hey, maybe you're hot and down for some fun times tonight. OR he remembered who you were but had to get really desperate before actually calling you again because frankly, he's just not that into it. either way.... insulting booty call.
option 5:
He never calls.
explanation:
He likes boys.
(exceptions to the above are few and far between. 1 in 4.5 million. and that's a scientific fact.)
This public service announcement brought to you by Montastic.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
shittiest headline i've seen in a while
now, that's not to say i haven't seen awful awful awful ones. but this one actually is trying to be cool and hip...and it's really damn annoying.
LIVE THE DREAM FOR LESS COIN.
shame on you toyota. first of all, how freakin overplayed is "live the dream"???? stop saying it, everyone. right now.
"oh, how's your day?"
"not bad just living the dream!"
screw off.
"like your new job?"
"yep. living the dream!"
go home fungus.
"what have you been doing lately?"
"a little of everything...you know, living the dream!"
i hate you.
and toyota...trust me...give up the living the dream line. it's no longer hip. it's annoying and used by people trying to be funny/sarcastic/ironic when in reality they are very bad at all 3.
second, "coin." hate it.
it came up in 2 different superbowl spots...referring to saving cash as saving "coin." i guess it's the next wave of hipsterness, but when two different ads (for different products mind you) used the term "coin" during the superbowl...guess what???! it's not the next cool word. most likely some stupid researchers tried to find some cool&trendy new word kids are using these days so they could slap it on an ad and try to be original. sorry. someone else found the same information. that's what happens when you aren't creative enough.
might i suggest my own rewrite of the same headline:
we're grasping to relive the past as the value of the american dollar is taking a fat ass nosedive.
ps. we hope you don't notice.
LIVE THE DREAM FOR LESS COIN.
shame on you toyota. first of all, how freakin overplayed is "live the dream"???? stop saying it, everyone. right now.
"oh, how's your day?"
"not bad just living the dream!"
screw off.
"like your new job?"
"yep. living the dream!"
go home fungus.
"what have you been doing lately?"
"a little of everything...you know, living the dream!"
i hate you.
and toyota...trust me...give up the living the dream line. it's no longer hip. it's annoying and used by people trying to be funny/sarcastic/ironic when in reality they are very bad at all 3.
second, "coin." hate it.
it came up in 2 different superbowl spots...referring to saving cash as saving "coin." i guess it's the next wave of hipsterness, but when two different ads (for different products mind you) used the term "coin" during the superbowl...guess what???! it's not the next cool word. most likely some stupid researchers tried to find some cool&trendy new word kids are using these days so they could slap it on an ad and try to be original. sorry. someone else found the same information. that's what happens when you aren't creative enough.
might i suggest my own rewrite of the same headline:
we're grasping to relive the past as the value of the american dollar is taking a fat ass nosedive.
ps. we hope you don't notice.
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