a couple old writings.

as I am about to begin a new chapter, i decided to go back and read old chapters (so to speak)...in the form of old writings.

my writings largely have to do with personal relationships. anyway, i found some interesting, some hard to read, some emotive, some enraging, some bittersweet.

and so...i thought i should share a little on my blog before i lost the nerve.

these aren't in order, and i'm not up to the task of sharing when they were written.

1.
She remembers your last goodbye
because she feared you couldn't be friends.
you still aren't, and are strangers now.

She remembers your last goodbye
because it was in a text message.
you lost her respect, and never will get it.

She doesn't remember your last goodbye
because she thinks she was drugged.
you'll never hear from her again, and don't deserve to.

She remembers your last goodbye
because she whispered it at you in her rearview mirror
you'll never understand, and should stop saying you do.

She doesn't remember your first meeting
because she was wildly insecure with guys.
you were her first love.

She remembers your first meeting
because you looked great in black.
you were the insecure one.

She remembers your first meeting
because you seemed lighthearted and fun.
you hid your true self well.

She remembers your first meeting
because it was something new.
you were chatty and awkward.

2.
the best part
about losing my head
getting lost in you
is that
it scares the shit out of me

3.
it's about living
and spinning
and winning
the battle
of great over good
of can over could
dont wait. escape.
it's fate
no hesitation.
screw reservations.
just spin. and win. and live.
give in to real.
feel.
own alone
a solo of one
go numb
crumble, stumble.
whatever comes
take it and run
and spin
and fall
you'll win it all
when life is done
it's always one
who lives
that gives the best
a chance
a dance
romance

vampires!

Cool outdoor advertising for the series premiere of a new vampire show, True Blood, in New Zealand.

what a fantastic weekend

Friday I had a lovely soccer practice with my new team, then went out with them for a few beverages. I'm starting a second soccer team (co-ed indoor)...seeing as how they don't know what is wrong with RoboKnee and have given me the "ok" to play soccer.

Saturday I didn't do much. And by that I mean I painted this super awesomely rad box!




Also Saturday, my long-distance manlove informed he is moving to Denver! WHAAAAAAAAT?! Hooray! To celebrate, a picture of us at the zoo:


Sunday I had my first game with the new soccer team, bright and early. We lost but it was loads o' fun. And other than that, I just relaxed and iced RoboKnee. Oh, and ate something with BBQ sauce on it.

How can you tell me that isn't a really good weekend?? You can't.

write write write

Ok, enough blog silence from me. I haven't been writing. My sincerest apologies. Ok, not my sincerest, but apologies nonetheless.

Why haven't I been writing you ask? For many reason.

I've been busy eating. Anything and everything. For the first time in my life I've tried to cope with emotional stress by challenging my stomach's limit. In case you forgot, I'm in a long distance relationship (AKA I'm in an UNdiet).

I've been busy having heart-to-hearts with RoboKnee. We go up and down, me and knee. Some days it likes me and doesn't hurt (granted I'm on pain meds for it). Some days it is mad at me for having to walk anywhere, and the pain is enough to, well, hurt a lot. It's like a bad relationship where you know you need each other, but it's always up&downs, and you can't figure out what's wrong. That's right. I'm in an unhealthy relationship with my own knee.

I've been busy with not being busy. I don't know many people. Sometimes I feel like I don't do anything. In fact, I do SO much nothing that I don't have time for anything else, even writing.

I've been busy with trying to figure out my life. So busy and so stressed that I've neglected the one thing that helps de-stressify me: writing.

Needless to say, I'm back.

And I've stopped harassing my body with extra food (and extra bacon on everything). And I've stopped hating on RoboKnee, and we're working through our differences. And I've stopped being un-busy and started filling my free time. And, well, I haven't stopped trying to figure out my life. I never will.

And that, my friends, is that.

anyone for an HJ?

i do love hugs.

vino&movies, jungle tummy, bird calling 101

a few things I learned this weekend...

1. a giant bottle of bella sera pino grigio

plus a first-time screening of Vantage Point

makes your brain hurt. after guzzling vino and trying to watch it, Montastic now looks like this:

AND THAT'S A FACT


2. jungle curry makes a jungle in your tummy

Now if you know me (and you damn well should) you know I can handle a lot of spicy food. And, while I did handle this, I haven't sweat from eating something spicy in a long time. Perhaps picking 6 or 7 thai red chili peppers out of the broth should have been my first clue. no amount of rice could cool the pit of flames in my tumtum. my boylove and i also shared a scorpion (a tasty cocktail). but, let it be known the jungle curry stung far more than the scorpion.


3. mad bird-calling skills are an essential for every zoo-goer

peanut butter jelly time

HAPPY MONDAY!