mask or flask?

before long, (as in next week) i will be tossed into a very large group of people i used to work with. while my employment there was over a year ago, it didn't end on the highest of highs. i'm banking on the fact that i may not get recognized. (aside from the few people i've kept in contact with). i'm hopeful for 3.5 reasons.
first, its a huge company and i'm just another random face to most.
second, i didn't know a ton of employees when i was there, i kept a small circle of cool budbuds.
third, it was over a year ago and most of the peeps there are too busy to worry about remembering the excess baggage they dumped a while back.
and the half a reason, i look a bit different.
i only consider this a half because i'm not sure that my looks have changed so drastically as to hide my true identity. so i've provided a handy-dandy splitscreen, a then&now, as it were, to demonstrate said changes.


aww shoot, if that doesn't work, i have plan B which is either alcohol consumption to cut the awkwardness, or a HIGHLY clever disguise

drinky artsy, montastic likey

today's awesomeness comes from an artist named Hannes Broecker in Dresden, Germany. His art display is cool on so many levels:

first, i love the combination of glass, liquid, and color: the flatscreens are full of various, colored cocktails.
second, i love the level of interaction: guests can fill a glass (provided by the artist) with whichever drink they prefer.
third, i absolutely love the visual representation of preference: whichever drink is most popular would obviously go down first.
i think the contrast between something seemingly lowbrow (drinking from a spout) and the snobbery of the inevitable popularity contest (among the drinks being chosen) is absolutely brilliant. why would you drink the blue one if everyone is drinking the yellow? you wouldn't want to look ignorant by picking the wrong drink at such a fancy, artsy affair.
montastic likey a lotty.

find the article here.

TN, short and thick

Well, after a brief hiatus, Montastic has returned from the farmland, aka McMinnville, Tennessee.

Here's what I learned (and please keep this in mind if you ever visit..although some of it will be less than helpful to you)

1. Cows frighten if you approach them on foot, try a four-wheeler instead.
2. I'm really, really good at spotting bats in caves.
3. Some paint primer smells like bread dough.
4. If you are painting a kitchen, and you happen to fall off your ladder or stool, be sure the big glob of paint from your paint brush lands right in your mouth.
5. I think I could beat up most under-18 southern boys if we were to scrap.
6. After the men working on the plumbing downstairs tell you they are turning the water off and removing part of the piping, DO NOT make a doodoo upstairs and then flush the toilet.
7. Doggies do not like wobbly, rope bridges.
8. Places named "Butts" really do exist.
9. Smarshmella is an acceptable name for Marshmellows.
10. Young southern, church-going girls think my heels are impractical.
11. They don't call creeks "cricks," even though I really wish they did.
12. With every meal you get fruit punch. In various colors.
13. Everything is about 30 minutes away. So get used to it city girl. And slow your ass down.
14. Carry a big stick, old pipe or a rattle to ward of attacking dogs whilst walking at night.
15. When old southern folk sound like they are just burping, acknowledge them with a response of "mmhmm" or "i see" as it is most likely that they did, in fact, say something and not just belch.

fact-o-thanksgiving

paul the pilgrim is here to share his knowledge* with you.

everyone is so quick to say that the tryptophan in turkey is what makes them so sleepy. buncha liars!
chicken has more tryptophan than turkey.
so does pork.
and some cheeses.
red meat and salmon are almost tied.
so it's not the turkey. stop saying that it is.
perhaps it's just the fact that the average person consumes between 4,000 and 4,500 calories on Thanksgiving day. And all those excess calories can bog you down.

i think we've all learned something today.



*Montastic's knowledge from her time as a writer for Wild Oats

a vinter vonderland!

yay! today was freezing ass cold! yesterday was dreadfully pleasant... low 70s! in the middle of frickin November. But today, oh beautiful today, was mid thirties. what a magnificent change of temperature. i heart colorado. i walked 2 blocks to lunch and was shivering by the time i got there. and then it snowed tonight. just a little. not enough to stick. but enough to remind the colorado population that winter is in fact coming.. and to remind montastic that the cold hath cometh to make her happy!

in other news, through my weight loss efforts, my boobs have shrank. while you might be thinking this is no big deal because i had plenty to spare.. i am saddened, shocked, and intrigued by this. i didn't expect it to happen so suddenly. i swear it was fuckin overnight.

lastly, but definitely not leastly, i'm finding myself in love with two new artists/groups. first, the avett brothers. bluesy grassy goodnessy. and second, matt costa. he's goddamn brilliant. check out a lovely lil' acoustic number below... i have a new, creepy crush on someone i've never met.

quite lovely

a few commercials from ebay that you've probably already seen. It's the "shop victoriously" campaign based on the idea that something is better when you win it.
i think they are beautifully cast, simple, insightful, wonderful. the first one here is my favorite.

my thursday take

it's thursday. i'm sick. i've been crazy busy at work (imagine that!) and have yet to post this week. so my thursday take on the life and times of montastic should sum up the two biggest learnings of this week.. although the latter is nothing new.

first, cougars. not the animals. the older, single women who go to bars to pick up young men (known as cougar bait). i almost dressed as a cougar for halloween.. velour sweat suit, heels, big red nails, too much eyeliner (check out urbandictionary.com for a gloriuos definition of a cougar). anyway, "cougar" is a well-known term out here in colorado. i learned of it in oregon... from a guy from colorado. there's a lot of cougar culture out there. cougar huntin' (where young guys go out and try to pick up a coug). cougar attacks. needless to say i wondered what the term for the male version would be... (ie: an older man who preys on younger women). and you know what i found... the term is Dingo (according to urban dictionary)..
maybe the dingo ate your baby.

second, gross incompetence coupled with ignorance does not a happy montastic make.