First off all, I love you kitty. Please don't take this the wrong way, but you were a little shithead this morning.
Meowing before the sun came up? Really? You've never done this before, and we lock you out of the bedroom every night. Not only that, but you didn't shut up. Shithead.
Then, when I got you joyfully ran into my arms for some love. Then you released one of the grosser cat farts known to man. But no no no, not to be outdone by other cat farts, you made sure to LEAK something on me while cat farting. So now I smelled you, and saw what it was I was smelling. Shitbutt.
Then, as I was getting ready you made the stinkiest pile o' waste in the litterbox. I can't blame you for that. It was only natural. But I already had your butt juice on me, so I was a little annoyed. Shitbutt.
Trying not be, I let you back on my lap again. But in trying to position yourself, you slipped. This of course caused you to dig your nails into my legs as you slipped down... leaving two bloody irrigation tracks on my legs. You cut me deep Storm. On accident. But still. Shithead.
Then, you had the audacity to just lay on the bed while I changed...AND PURR. That's right, you just purred and were cute.
Awwww. My widdle kitty witty cat! I wuv you still.