Friday, January 30, 2009

weiners on yo mind put smiles on yo face!

Maybe it's just me, but "Verdict: Misadventure" is a brilliant end to this article.

Friday Funday Song Send-Off

Ok, so this has been the longest week ever! And I even had Monday off.
I think we can all agree that today being Friday is FANTASTIC.

Naturally, I felt inspired to send you into the weekend with a hot steamy JAMMER!

And I don't know about you...but tonight I gotta cut loose.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

breakfast of champions

I would do this. If I were to plate a tasty breakfast.

stare at my boobs, you're welcome

I read an article a while back that passing gas helps lower your blood pressure.

Well, gents and boob-lovers alike, now you can lower your blood pressure, risk of heart disease and heart attacks by simply staring at the ample bosom of a female. In my opinion this is a much more pleasant way to be healthy than farting. Though each could be perceived as offensive.

Read, process, then go ogle some titties.
In the meantime, I'm going to go buy more low-cut shirts in an effort to make America healthier. You're welcome America, Montastic has your back....with her rack.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

layoffs are a-comin

and if you get the cut, you should probably order this absolutely horribly ridiculous waste-of-money sillypants product:

Saturday, January 17, 2009

oh just a little SHREDDING!

a bit o' Montastic

a bit o' Finny

Friday, January 16, 2009

Whopper Virgins parody

This cracks me up. If you haven't seen Burger King's Whopper Virgins campaign, it's partially good, partially horrifying.

Trust me, I've discussed it with Chase. And we are both insanely smart.

Essentially the campaign features people from all over the world who have never had a Whopper. They are asked to try both that and the Big Mac, and compare them by taste. Now, I think this is a clever idea from the standpoint of unbiased taste tests. Chase feels as though it's exploiting those around the world who haven't had to put American processed shit in their bodies. I agree.

I would like this better if it were Americans who had never had a Whopper. Not impoverished Sven from BFE.

Anyway...check out their website to get an idea of the actual campaign.

Then giggle at this sillypants parody!

Thursday, January 15, 2009


You choose based on what you know.
What you know comes from what you've done.
And what you've done affects everything.

You choose based on what you think is best.
What is best is determined by experience.
And what you've experienced has made you.

You choose based on what you feel.
What you feel comes from looking inward.
And looking inward can be exciting. And scary.

You choose based on what you want.
What you want comes from what you have in front of you.
And what is in front of you confuses your wants.

You choose based on knowledge, and thought,
and feelings, and wants.
And what you choose may very well be wrong.


Just a bit o' Montastic writing. There are some big choices coming up. So this one from a few months back seemed appropriate.

Enjoy. Or don't. It's your choice.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

it has been a reflective day

and this song is simply perfect

Malbec - Been a While.

Another new artist that Montastic likey.

La Parola Del Giorno

If you have noticed the handy little widget down the right-hand side of the page, you will see it generates the Parola del Giorno (word of the day) for me.

Today's word is:

ricordare - verb (ree-core-dar-ay)
it means
to remember

So, naturally, in the spirit of past Parola Del Giorno entries, it's time for a list! A list of things I remember. Of 10 things I remember about 2008. How fitting.

i ran. a lot.
my cousin visited. twice.
i hiked a 14er. once.
i was hurt. twice.
my last two family pets were put down
i fell in love. twice.
i was single.
i bought my first car.
my hair got cut short. finally.
i shrank. and grew.

some good advertising

Well, as you can see, I've been lacking ANYTHING to write about. So I thought I'd share some advertising with you that I appreciate.

First off, this billboard. Super cool.

Second, this Heinz Hot Ketchup campaign is rather brilliant.

Third, a couple headlines I think rock! Even though the ads lack something for me.

"Smooth like an alibi."

"Life is full of trials, with an occasional conviction."

I really always have enjoyed liquor advertising. Beer advertising leaves something to be desired. But boy, those liquor folk sure know how to sass up an ad with something sexy, or, at least, well-written.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Some girls may be manipulative

but when you're this stupid...maybe you have it coming. ??? i'm not sure.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Artist Recommendation: Jeff Black

Stumbled across Jeff Black tonight, and I'm hooked!

Don't be fooled now. He may, in fact, look EXACTLY like your IT guy at work. He's fantastic.

Support an unknown and buy his albums. Well, buy me his albums first. I'm trying to save a little skrilla for a potential move, so I'm not spending money on nuffin! me his albums. Then buy yourself his albums.
Thank you in advance for buying me his albums.

Montastic lyric (not from either of the above songs):
Let your love lead you on and run.


The Top 5 Montastic Perils of Long Distance Love

5. You let yourself go in between visits. You become rather tribal. More leg hair, grunting, general irritability, and only a loincloth. Also, you eat poorly, get a little extra pudgy around the muffin-top-region. And then are stuck desperately trying to remove said "top" in the 48 hours before seeing your beloved again.

4. You make out with your computer. Your cell phone. Your mailbox. Anything that functions as a delivery system for messages/cards/words/smells/pictures of your far away amore. Because that is as close as you can get to actually making out with him/her.

3. Teeny bopper bullshit songs really tug at your heart strings as some 12 year old belts out his deep feelings about his emotional torment and his great experience in the love realm at his youthful of age of prepubescence. You weep.

2. You have weird dreams.

1. You completely relate to this stupid looking bear, posing in the window, appearing to exhibit human emotions thanks to the ridiculous headline.

I'll be back shortly. I have to go look pensively out a window.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Welcome to the mighty fine 2009

Well, I'm back. After 2 weeks of vacation, I sit humbly at my computer with little to no inspiration to write.

However, one Mr Daveypants Rosebeard posted something pretty darn sweet.

The following video.

It's a mash-up by DJ Earworm of the top 25 songs of 2008.
And it's brilliantly dramatic.

I hope you enjoy it like I did. I also hope I find something of more depth to write soon.

The songs:
Flo Rida Featuring T-Pain - Low
Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love
Alicia Keys - No One
Lil Wayne Featuring Static Major - Lollipop
Timbaland Featuring OneRepublic - Apologize
Jordin Sparks Duet With Chris Brown - No Air
Sara Bareilles - Love Song
Usher Featuring Young Jeezy - Love in This Club
Chris Brown - With You
Chris Brown - Forever
Ray J & Yung Berg - Sexy Can I
Rihanna - Take a Bow
Coldplay - Viva La Vida
Katy Perry - I Kissed a Girl
T.I. - Whatever You Like
Rihanna - Disturbia
Rihanna - Don’t Stop the Music
Natasha Bedingfield - Pocketful of Sunshine
Chris Brown Featuring T-Pain - Kiss Kiss
Ne-Yo - Closer
Colbie Caillat - Bubbly
Mariah Carey - Touch My Body
Madonna Featuring Justin Timberlake - 4 Minutes
Pink - So What
Finger Eleven - Paralyzer