Monday, June 29, 2009

i'm baaaaack. and 4 teeth lighter

Well, the day after I turned the ripe old age of teeth started hurting and it was time to have the wisdom teeth pulled. Awesome.

So I had all 4 out on wednesday. and it went well, without any real problems...except painkillers. I hate taking painkillers and my body still feels groggy and crappy from them. I'm almost back to eating normally. I can eat solid foods now (hooray!) but I still can't open my mouth completely which makes it hard to eat with a fork...or singly loudly from a mountaintop.

The evidence--

Fresh from the oral surgeon, icing my cheekies:

A couple hours later AKA "the mugshot":

A day or so later, off for some soup with the boy, looking chipmunk-y:

An easy hike 3 days post-removal, cheeks only a grandma could love:

today, back in action:

Thursday, June 18, 2009

a new dose of goats

slow mo goats > regular mo goats


Well, there you have it. I've been around 1/4 of a century. One score and five years. I've become instantly wise over night, and similarly achy and is the protocol for old age.

Last year about this time I was gearing up for Utah-Tahs '08 and wearing greatly green birthday heels.

Today, as a testament to my boundless maturity, I've exchanged green heels for a tiara of ribbon and tinfoil.

Please join me in a birfday beverage promptly after work today...and maybe one at lunch.

Also, to answer your questions, yes...yes I am sitting on the kiddy toilet in the above picture. And I am not sitting on the toilet in the below picture.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

today's fools. i mean...really??

exhibit A: girl talking out of the side of her mouth, suing her friend for breaking her toilet

exhibit B: school administrators, who presumably were never blown enough kisses in their life, denying a student his diploma for blowing a kiss to his mom


mama whyfor you step on me for?

Monday, June 8, 2009

oh bother! there's a hole in my manties!

Well, the Manty index is here my friends. This astounding discovery suggests that the sales of mens underwear is a good barometer of the economy. Hole-filled, dingy dainties signify tough economic times, while bedazzled boxers assure us the market is strong.

"If men are wearing threadbare jocks - or worse, undies with holes - the nation is in real trouble, according to a growing number of economists who say the condition of men's underwear is a valuable fiscal indicator."

It seems that when times get tough, the tough tighten their panty-buying budget. I guess one must look at this from a perspective other than my the countless young men I frequent, who are recently out of college (and thus in great debt) already own thread-bare drawers.

Check your low-cost manties at the door...and the ladies will not only swoon, but love you for your perceived money and economic prowess.

Friday, June 5, 2009

a random sampling of thoughts

well, it's no secret that i've been slacking in my posts. so i figured i'd just put some words on paper (or screen, if you will) to get my writing juices flowing. random thoughts from yours truly.

first, as you may know...i spent last weekend driving 1300 miles from portland to denver, bringing back my bounty. and by bounty i mean manlove. the trip went as car problems, lots of good tunes, a short nap or two, and a surprisingly tasty grilled chicken sandwich at burger king. mmmm.
what you missed:

so, week one of living in the same city (and same apartment currently) has gone splendidly. i had a fan at my first futbol game of the season (a 6-4 victory and hard-kicked ball to the face were the highlights). boyboy made lasagna for a wine-infused evening of giggling and eating too much. a lovely 2.7 mile run in the sun together. and taking a swing at tennis tonight. life is not so bad! in fact, it's rather disgusting how great things are going.

on a different note, i stepped in dog poo on our run yesterday. someone left their pup's turd RIGHT in the middle of the dirt path we were running on. the result: poo on shoe. poo on montastic. poo everywhere. dear anonymous, you are an a-hole.

on a related note: a fun fact i just read:
On average, a person produces about half a liter of fart gas per day, distributed over an average of about fourteen daily farts.
Whereas it may be difficult for you to determine your daily flatus volume, you can certainly keep track of your daily numerical fart count. You might try this as a science fair project: Keep a journal of everything you eat and a count of your farts. You might make a note of the potency of their odor as well. See if you can discover a relationship between what you eat, how much you fart, and how much they smell.

intriguing! flatus volume.

that's all i got.
apologies for my lame post about poop and farts and romance.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

oh that's right, sometimes i post good advertising

not much to say. these are clever. i liked them.