Wednesday, March 30, 2011

those XX chromosomes dream of Dos Equis beer in my tummy.

That will have to wait as the only XX in there are the chromosomes for my future baby girl. That's right folks. Montastic, the antithesis of pink, is having a little miss thang.

And I couldn't be more excited!

4 more months before I get to meet her, and 4 months to fend off the suffocating waves of pink that will inevitably drown me.

I mean, I'm not entirely opposed to the color. After all, it IS a little girl. I mean, I am currently working through a stack of neon pink post-its. So that's gotta mean something. Right? The problem with pink is that it has its pastel-y little hands gripped tightly on the baby industry. And it doesn't plan to let go. Pink is a bully.

I mean, of course future-baby can wear pink. She's a girl. Other people like to give pink things... And I'm sure that's all we'll it's mostly what they make for baby ladies.

But the way I see it, it won't be for a while that she's able to tell us what she likes to wear and what color she likes. So until she can enunciate "pink," mama will opt for purple. or yellow. or green. or the rest of the rainbow.

Um, wants it.

via the internets

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Before I die...and things I wish that were.

Gulp. Inspiration, at last! Thank you Candy Chang. From her website, "Candy Chang is a public installation artist, designer, urban planner, and co-founder of Civic Center who likes to make cities more comfortable for people."

Well, pretty much I fell in love with her installation "Before I Die."
She covered this ramshackle building:
with this brilliant fill-in-the-blank stencil:

And three short, humanity-driven days later, it filled up with magic.

Responses range from "have fun" to "create a life" to "go 200 mph" to "understand." 


Her site details the project. Please check it out, as it's wonderful. She says that once the board fills up, they wash it clean and the process starts again. It's no surprise that other people have shown interest in her installation and putting it up elsewhere.

I'd love to have this on my wall, so I can add to it as I discover new life goals and desires. That being said, I really should start a list...mental or otherwise.

Another project of hers that is similarly interactive is her "I Wish This Was" installation.

Also simple, thought-provoking, and lovely.

What I love about this project, is that it's taken on its own life. Go to the site. Buy stickers. Stick 'em places. Use 'em. Love 'em. 

Candy was inspired by her neighborhood in New Orleans, that still has many abandoned buildings and storefronts. Her installation helps give people a voice, and helps give us an look into the simple things people wish that were.

The nerd in me wants to point out that the grammatically correct sticker should read "I wish this were" as it's the proper subjunctive case. Yet she manages to even address that on her site, saying that she feels "was" is more conversational. Agree to disagree Candy, though I do agree that it's more conversational. and I heart you even more for acknowledging the grammar nazis. 

Briangasm on a Thursday.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

becoming human again, and hopefully female

Well, I'm finally creeping back to reality after being sick for almost a week. And not just some sort of sniffly boohoo cold....a huge fever, flu, and now a severe cough.

I feel like over the last 6 days I've embodied each of the figures on the chart of evolution. In particular, the first two.
Saturday was the start of it all. I woke up hurting all over. I rolled around on the ground (like a chimp) whining about how much my joints hurt. I tried to stretch them out but that made it worse. Then my temperature jumped to over 102. Then I started sweating profusely and pretty much gave up all hope of being recognizable as a member of the human species. 

Maybe it has something to do with the inability to walk from the couch to restroom (a seemingly endless 30 feet) without stopping at least once to literally cry in pain. Maybe it has something to do with shivering under 4 blankets while also sweating enough sweat to soak my clothes and soil my sense of femininity. 

Well, whatever it was very primal. And very ugly. 

Now to pull myself back together and become human again. I'd say I'm at the second-to-last figure on the evolutionary chart. I don't know why I'm carrying a spear, but I'm sure I'll figure that out before too long.

A few handy steps to becoming a woman again:
1. removing the fur from your neglected legs (as long as you can muster the energy to do this)
2. deodorant, lotion, and other non-essential pretty-smelling things
3. using full sentences, instead of grunts, whines, and moans
4. put on a bra for crying out loud you dirty monkey woman
5. one well-constructed homemade latte to make you feel just a tad bit classier (you may have to put your spear down in order to do this)

These helpful hints brought to you by the almost-a-lady-again Montastic.