Friday, May 22, 2009

memoirs of an ill-advised run

so i can't take it anymore. i can't take my knee not really working right, and the docs (however attractive or unattractive they may be) telling me that everything looks normal.

to sum up: i took RoboKnee out for a jaunt today. i ran to wash park. then around it. then home. in lovely intervals. jog 10 minutes, walk 5. i did this 4 times. so for you non-math people out there...40 minutes running. 20 minutes walking.

here's what you missed:

- i ran by flowers that smelled like my scrubbing bubbles automatic shower cleaner. now, my shower cleaner does not smell like flowers. so if you're keeping track, i ran by flowers that smelled like soap. eww.

- even when beet-red, mildly limping, and gasping for air...Montastic still managed to get a "meeeeeeeeeoooooow" from a car driving by. if you don't my affinity for the occasional meow, then you don't know me at all. while the guy was gross, i totally giggled to myself, and appreciated it.

- conjunction junction did, in fact, make an appearance while my shuffle was errr...shuffling.

- i saw two banana peels tossed to curb as if ready for one to slip on them. in staring at them...i was almost that person.

- a chiquita with two huge awesome dogs. butterface.

- my musk

Thursday, May 21, 2009

I wanna howl at your moon

Chase found this today. And I had to share. I love witty comments and whatnot. This was epic.

A 3-wolf wonder, for sale on Amazon. Please enjoy the link above and read the reviews.

Here's just a snippet of one:

"This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him."

And one more:

"...this garment features three wolves, which is not simply 3 times better than one wolf, but in fact 1,287,200 times better because it's wolf math"

Reminder: Montastic's bday is comin up.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Look No Further

i'm in love with this song. just heard it tonight. i've been a dido fan for a long time now and this one randomly played on Pandora and i think it's just grand!

just grand i say!

it makes me think about a lot of things, a lot of people, a lot of times past. i don't know why. but, to end with an extra cheesy line from the song, my heart has found its home.

and he'll be here soon. so soon. :)

Wednesday, May 13, 2009


on the rocks, for realsies

Montastic enjoys a nice whiskey on the rocks once in a while. Mmm.

Warms your tummy, warms your day, warms your life.

Well, it's about that time again. Time to start thinking about what to get Montastic for her birthday in a month (I know you all plan ahead of time).

Whiskey Stones is where da party at!

Freeze. Put in whiskey. Drink whiskey. Rinse. Reuse.

Pros: the stones don't melt or dilute the whiskey (like horrible ice), the stones are reusable, the whiskey is delicious

Cons: I don't own them yet.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


Well, I'm officially living paycheck to paycheck.
No, I am not making any huge payments on my debt, as much as I'm trying.
No, I am not putting any into savings, as much as I'd love too.
And no, I have no retirement fund or any explanation as to why my moolah is escaping me.

I made the sillypants decision to check my account this morning since I knew a few checks had been cashed for various bills. And guess what gloriousness I discovered!

I have a massive $6.36 in my account until payday this Friday. So, being as resourceful as humanly possible, I took to the internets to see what I could spend my fortune on.

Much to my chagrin, and in the name of all things practical, I stumbled upon a $6.36 LED headlamp...with free shipping. JACKPOT!

che cosa significa il mio nome?

M - morale
O - ostinata
N - naturale
T - tirannica
A - amichevole
S - selvaggia
T - tenace
I - irresistibile
C - coraggiosa

Monday, May 11, 2009

the last RoboKnee update (for now)

I had this 4 and a half weeks ago:

Yes, hot doc stuck a large needle way into my knee and filled it with the juice. A cortisone/lidocaine cocktail, as it were.

The pain was gone, and pending the shot wearing off, we would know what to do next.

Well today was my followup..and by now the shot should have worn off. The fact that pain has only barely barely barely came back means only one thing...RoboKnee is likely on the road to recovery. Yay! The shot has taken care of unseen inflammation in the knee, and now the plan is strengthening and slowly slowly working back up to normal activity.

While I still have moments of instability in my knee, that is just because my ACL graft is a little loose and the original surgery was imperfect. Strengthening the knee should stabilize some of this. Eventually I may need a remedial double-surgery to completely re-do the ACL graft. However, that is not the case right.

So that's good news. Even though I'm impatient and hate slow recovery. boo.

oh wellz! No going under the knife for Montastic and RoboKnee. At least not right now anyway. Hooray!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

letters to the world

Dear Toilet Seat Pee Sprinkler,
Seriously? In the ladies room? Who hovers anymore? Use a toilet seat cover and sit your ass down. Your quads and my non-stranger's pee-covered legs will thank you.

Dear EasyGlide BIC Pen,
You make me think dirty things.

Dear Every Postman Ever,
Chase thinks you are hot and enjoys how you carry such big packages.

Dear RoboKnee,
Decide what you're doing with your life already. No one likes a complacent lazy ass. Figure your shit out.

Dear Man Love,
You are smokin hot and I'm sorry you had to hear me karaoke.

Dear Stinky Feet,
You aren't doing anyone any favors. Eww.