Friday, December 21, 2007

somebody wants to wish you a merry christmas

Photobucket *

*sent to me by someone at work. stolen. claimed as my own.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

tough love. happiness now.

This posting brought to you by the wise, upset mama in me. (Who most likely looks like this...)
I know many people, 3 in particular, who are living in an unhappy, depressed, down-and-out, stressed state.
I say change your situation. Now.
Whether it's your job, relationship, friendships or yourself that is making you unhappy, you're the one who put you there. So you're the one who is gonna need to get yourself out. Fuckin just do it.
I'm sick of excuses and hearing about things that just "can't" happen right now. Everything can happen right now. And what I'm really hearing is fear of making that change happen.
And I get it. I've been there. I was there. It's scary as shit.
But do something about your miserable situation and stop making up excuses and justifying why you're letting yourself settle for less than awesome.
Because, the people who get me all fired up about this, are very very important to me. And I hate seeing them unhappy. And I really don't want to hear reasons why they are letting themselves stay that way. Because as much as you say you are happy, it shows all over that you aren't... in your words, voice, composure, eyes.
Make happiness now.

Thursday, December 13, 2007


the blonde boy is my favorite.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007


Breathe in the seconds
Exhale in years
Catch your breath
In flesh, with fresh
Chance the touch
of much. of lust.
Find why and what
behind blinks and drinks.
Don't think. Dig deep.
Search out obscene
Between the link
of then to now
of when and how.
Then fuck it all.
The big, the small.
Just do. Act. React.
Stay whole. Intact.
Be new. Just do.
Just do.


Tuesday, December 11, 2007

best new comic site

left-handed toons (by right-handed people)
so friggin simple. and oh-so-silly.
here's a random samplin'

Love Letters


Friday, December 7, 2007

five alive

1. national commercial
2. $150 worth of sushi
3. sexy, silly holiday party tonight
4. new purple shirt
5. avett brothers

Monday, December 3, 2007

this is not one of those times

where i read a headline/slogan and think "Damn, I wish I would have written that!"

it's not even close. in fact, it's disappointing. and gives us writers a bad name.

i wont try to sum it up in my own words. instead, an excerpt from the article itself:

"A £125,000 campaign to replace Scotland's Best Small Country In The World tag has been unveiled.

And the exciting new catchphrase dreamed up by top advertising brains is..."Welcome to Scotland"."

what poppycock!

Friday, November 30, 2007

mask or flask?

before long, (as in next week) i will be tossed into a very large group of people i used to work with. while my employment there was over a year ago, it didn't end on the highest of highs. i'm banking on the fact that i may not get recognized. (aside from the few people i've kept in contact with). i'm hopeful for 3.5 reasons.
first, its a huge company and i'm just another random face to most.
second, i didn't know a ton of employees when i was there, i kept a small circle of cool budbuds.
third, it was over a year ago and most of the peeps there are too busy to worry about remembering the excess baggage they dumped a while back.
and the half a reason, i look a bit different.
i only consider this a half because i'm not sure that my looks have changed so drastically as to hide my true identity. so i've provided a handy-dandy splitscreen, a then&now, as it were, to demonstrate said changes.
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aww shoot, if that doesn't work, i have plan B which is either alcohol consumption to cut the awkwardness, or a HIGHLY clever disguise
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Thursday, November 29, 2007

drinky artsy, montastic likey

today's awesomeness comes from an artist named Hannes Broecker in Dresden, Germany. His art display is cool on so many levels:
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first, i love the combination of glass, liquid, and color: the flatscreens are full of various, colored cocktails.
second, i love the level of interaction: guests can fill a glass (provided by the artist) with whichever drink they prefer.
third, i absolutely love the visual representation of preference: whichever drink is most popular would obviously go down first.
i think the contrast between something seemingly lowbrow (drinking from a spout) and the snobbery of the inevitable popularity contest (among the drinks being chosen) is absolutely brilliant. why would you drink the blue one if everyone is drinking the yellow? you wouldn't want to look ignorant by picking the wrong drink at such a fancy, artsy affair.
montastic likey a lotty.

find the article here.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

TN, short and thick

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Well, after a brief hiatus, Montastic has returned from the farmland, aka McMinnville, Tennessee.

Here's what I learned (and please keep this in mind if you ever visit..although some of it will be less than helpful to you)

1. Cows frighten if you approach them on foot, try a four-wheeler instead.
2. I'm really, really good at spotting bats in caves.
3. Some paint primer smells like bread dough.
4. If you are painting a kitchen, and you happen to fall off your ladder or stool, be sure the big glob of paint from your paint brush lands right in your mouth.
5. I think I could beat up most under-18 southern boys if we were to scrap.
6. After the men working on the plumbing downstairs tell you they are turning the water off and removing part of the piping, DO NOT make a doodoo upstairs and then flush the toilet.
7. Doggies do not like wobbly, rope bridges.
8. Places named "Butts" really do exist.
9. Smarshmella is an acceptable name for Marshmellows.
10. Young southern, church-going girls think my heels are impractical.
11. They don't call creeks "cricks," even though I really wish they did.
12. With every meal you get fruit punch. In various colors.
13. Everything is about 30 minutes away. So get used to it city girl. And slow your ass down.
14. Carry a big stick, old pipe or a rattle to ward of attacking dogs whilst walking at night.
15. When old southern folk sound like they are just burping, acknowledge them with a response of "mmhmm" or "i see" as it is most likely that they did, in fact, say something and not just belch.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007


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paul the pilgrim is here to share his knowledge* with you.

everyone is so quick to say that the tryptophan in turkey is what makes them so sleepy. buncha liars!
chicken has more tryptophan than turkey.
so does pork.
and some cheeses.
red meat and salmon are almost tied.
so it's not the turkey. stop saying that it is.
perhaps it's just the fact that the average person consumes between 4,000 and 4,500 calories on Thanksgiving day. And all those excess calories can bog you down.

i think we've all learned something today.

*Montastic's knowledge from her time as a writer for Wild Oats

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

a vinter vonderland!

yay! today was freezing ass cold! yesterday was dreadfully pleasant... low 70s! in the middle of frickin November. But today, oh beautiful today, was mid thirties. what a magnificent change of temperature. i heart colorado. i walked 2 blocks to lunch and was shivering by the time i got there. and then it snowed tonight. just a little. not enough to stick. but enough to remind the colorado population that winter is in fact coming.. and to remind montastic that the cold hath cometh to make her happy!

in other news, through my weight loss efforts, my boobs have shrank. while you might be thinking this is no big deal because i had plenty to spare.. i am saddened, shocked, and intrigued by this. i didn't expect it to happen so suddenly. i swear it was fuckin overnight.

lastly, but definitely not leastly, i'm finding myself in love with two new artists/groups. first, the avett brothers. bluesy grassy goodnessy. and second, matt costa. he's goddamn brilliant. check out a lovely lil' acoustic number below... i have a new, creepy crush on someone i've never met.

Monday, November 19, 2007

quite lovely

a few commercials from ebay that you've probably already seen. It's the "shop victoriously" campaign based on the idea that something is better when you win it.
i think they are beautifully cast, simple, insightful, wonderful. the first one here is my favorite.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

my thursday take

it's thursday. i'm sick. i've been crazy busy at work (imagine that!) and have yet to post this week. so my thursday take on the life and times of montastic should sum up the two biggest learnings of this week.. although the latter is nothing new.

first, cougars. not the animals. the older, single women who go to bars to pick up young men (known as cougar bait). i almost dressed as a cougar for halloween.. velour sweat suit, heels, big red nails, too much eyeliner (check out for a gloriuos definition of a cougar). anyway, "cougar" is a well-known term out here in colorado. i learned of it in oregon... from a guy from colorado. there's a lot of cougar culture out there. cougar huntin' (where young guys go out and try to pick up a coug). cougar attacks. needless to say i wondered what the term for the male version would be... (ie: an older man who preys on younger women). and you know what i found... the term is Dingo (according to urban dictionary)..
maybe the dingo ate your baby.

second, gross incompetence coupled with ignorance does not a happy montastic make.

Friday, November 9, 2007

it's F@%#@!!@# Friday!

And you know what I learned this morning from my oh-so-wonderful (and insanely old) radio alarm clock??
Swearing at work is a beautiful f`1!@#$!$ thing!

Check out the damn article to see how F!#@$!king cool this sh%* is!
according to researchers "Regular swearing at work can help boost team spirit among staff, allowing them to express better their feelings as well as develop social relationships..."

Of course you could google it and get more little insights into this blessed discovery.

That is wonderful news as many of you may know... because lil' montastic has quite the potty mouth!

While I'm not about to go up to my boss and wish him an a fan-f#$%king-tastic weekend, I am thrilled to know that my swearing is therapeutic and will help me escape the darkness.

In fact, me and Obediah (a giant fish on loan until the darkness passes) feel like this today, as a result of this groundbreaking research:

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off to my damn job in my f#&*$!*5 sweet office to do some more s@#$!

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

five alive

Fear not, montastic is not all tears and gloom. so i've decided to start a new post that may reappear the next time the darkness takes over. and it's called five alive.
and it is five things that have been awesome today (or will be awesome before the day is over).
and, of course, their level of awesomeness varies greatly and is completely subjective.
duh, sillyface!

1. good earth original tea to help warm my cold fingers and nose
2. hangin with ob
3. coworkers talking about substance abuse over lunch
4. sore muscles from yesterday's workout
5. zz top

Sunday, November 4, 2007

and this is how i feel today - **update**

i'm not sure if it's the puppy chow.
or the burning.

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wait... no. maybe i feel more like this

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it could be because of that horrible outfit. but that is unlikely.

ahhh, nostalgia in the air

freshman year of college our dorms were next to a bread factory. so every morning, and some evening we would smell the lovely and mouth-watering aroma of fresh bread baking, or sometimes cinnamon rolls. and oh my goodness it was delicious.

similarly, i now live by another factory. and on certain days there's an aroma of baking as well. only this time, it's not a bakery.

it's purina puppy chow.



I've heard about heartache.
Where the very thing keeping you alive is in pain.
At least that's what they say.

Well, my heart doesn't ache.
But every inch of my body is on fire with it.

It burns right behind the eyes.
It's when you can't make eye contact with yourself in the least not for too long.
Because you cry.
Maybe one cliched tear that leaves a seared trail.
Maybe a cry that heaves your whole body forward, the lowest lonely.

It burns in your stomach.
Like nausea, but different.
You can't eat because food tastes bad. It hits hard in your belly.
Like the rock you just threw in your glass house.
Why eat? You just broke something. You broke someone.

It burns in your throat, choking. Because talking about it is too much.
And talking about anything else seems trivial.
So you may just throw up.
Throw up the tightness in your throat.
Or try to breathe.
But even air tastes sad. Trust me.

It burns in your arms that can't hold them.
Your hands that can't touch.
Your ears void of their voice.
It burns in your knees because you can't find the strength to walk.
It burns everywhere.
Which is a reminder that you aren't, in fact, as empty as you feel.
If you were, you wouldn't burn with pain inside.

You are on fire.
But the heart feels fine.
Pumping life to each hot, tormented inch. And you keep going.

And your eyes will cry until they can't.
And you will lose weight because you can't eat, until one day you can.
And you'll find the words to talk about it.
And the air will smell normal.
Your arms will hold something else, your hands too.
Even if it's only yourself.
And your ears will listen to someone else.
And you'll walk right into the next day feeling full and not empty.

Not like you just ruined the best part of your life.
And the fiery pain of heartache will burn out.
At least that's what they say.
I'm not sure I believe it.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

because people don't realize

it has been brought to my attention more than once (recently, when i was younger, years ago, 2 months ago, today) that my outward composure and constant temperament leads many to believe that i am doing better at life than i am.

well, i've crafted the handy chart below, to help those who are confused.

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the gray area is what you see, the everyday me.
the blue area is just that, blue.

i like the way that a friend of mine out on deployment put it.. under my hard shell is a warm, soft nouget needing love.

i hope this clarifies any misconceptions you may or may not have had about montastic being able to handle her current situation.

Friday, November 2, 2007

ahh, refreshing

i'm hoping that many of you have seen this, as it exploded onto the flickr scene last week. i didn't have the time to blog about it then, but sure as hell saved the image so as to do it justice today.

i think it is a refreshing spin on an old medium, flyers. and i wish i knew this person. and this dog.

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if you can't read it, the copy says...
"Have a look at this beautiful motherfucking dog. He was last seen being awesome in my huge ass back yard which is where he is right now being awesome as usual. He is about the most beautiful god damn dog in the whole world and chews on expensive food all the time. RESPONDS TO 'XERXES'"

what a breath of fresh air. and how silly. montastic likey!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

reporting at it's best.

"Here's your damn pickles!" is the brilliantly covered, unquestionably newsworthy AP story of a pickle assault. Feel free to read the article. otherwise, i'll sum it up a few short phrases.

"dawg don't eat all my pickles, i gotsta feed my chitlins."

"A!@#!! %&!*!@! #$!. I'm outta here. Yous whack!"

Upon returning..and throwing pickles "Here's your damn pickles!!!" **

"what tha fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck? i'll be seein yous on court tv foo!"

The end.

**i guess no one reminded the assailant that the proper grammar would have been "Here are your damn pickles." what kind of world is it where grammar goes improperly used during a pickle battle?

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

bar smarts

I think Lowe's has done quite a nifty little thing with their coasters.
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found on adgoodness, i think these are relevent to the brand and the target market.
not to mention it's a fairly innovative use of an old advertising medium.\
'nuff said.

doin it fo tha scrilla

oh yes, today, not two short weeks after the week-o-change commenced, i am headed back to work. and everyone keeps asking if i'm excited.
the answer is...
um, no.
it's not a new job. it's the same job. it's not more responsibility, it's the same. at least for now. sure, it's a salary position and not hourly, but i'll be taking a small pay cut when i switch to salary. it will be nice to not feel AS disposable. although, after a year and half of interning/freelancing/contracting i've come to learn that the advertising industry is not your friend. and regardless of how "in" you feel, you may get canned the next morning by a smiling face talking about how much they like you. and this is true for freelancers, contract work, interning, and salary positions. so i guess my job security comment above is now null and void.
of course, i am very excited to see my work peeps again. i do enjoy them tremendously.
who knows, maybe you'll see more posts now that i'm required to sit in front of a computer all day and brilliantly craft the perfect, most affective headlines and body copy the world of JWT has ever known!

time for Montastic to get her life back on track.

Friday, October 26, 2007

my silly cousin

made a teaser for a video he is working on of my mom's wedding.
my family is the coolest.


just a little update on my buck-fifty goal..
i'm halfway there. beeotch.

Thursday, October 25, 2007


Dear Consumer,
It is ill-advised to consume only Doritos for dinner when you are feeling too complacent to eat something healthier. Your gastro-intestinal track will punish you for the aforementioned actions.

This public service announcement brought to you by Montastic.

le sette verità

well, marcus has made demands of me again in his post about seven truths. le sette verità for those italian speakers out there. ie: me and matteo.
little does mr marcus know, one of my very first posts on my blog was very similar, but instead of 7 truths about me, it was 6 little known facts about me. duh marcus. thanks for reading loyally, ass.

needless to say, i'm still going to share 7 truths about me, for you, for marcus, for the world.

1. i find good grammar to be a turn on.

2. i got my first real job offer tuesday. i took it. holy shit balls. and yay! and oh dear god. and woohoo!

3. i like my coffee like i like my men. sometimes black and strong, othertimes cheap and bitter, some days it's all girled up and flavored that way it's not like i'm really drinking coffee but out for a day with my girls, other days its home made and has nothing to do with the anyone else. but mostly, i like coffee like i like my men, every day.

4. i feel like an entirely different person than i did a week and a half ago. i think i'm a strong-willed, powerful (and sexy, duh) lady.

5. i'm going to sweden to visit my ms perrypants and i absolutely cannot wait. when she left i felt like i went through a really horrible break up. that's how depressed i was. i told her that, and then, like now, i feel silly saying it.

6. i absolutely love hand-written letters. i think it's insanely fascinating how they forever emtomb a moment even though everything can change the next day. case and point - i wrote a letter two weeks ago to a friend in abu dhabi. i talked about how i was excited about moving apartments, waiting to hear about my job (i felt pretty good about it) and things with the boy were good. then, of course, last week happened. so my letter got to him 2 days ago, showing a finite moment in the past. had i actually talked to him the day he got the letter he would never have heard those emotions, he would hear entirely different ones. isn't that fuckin amazing??? the answer is yes.

7. i think after a year and half, i may finally like this colorado thing.

by the way, any of you with a blog should write these too. it's endlessly entertaining*

*mildly humoring.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

mmm. charty.

i love charts. graphs. visual representations of larger concepts.
especially when they are silly.
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this lovely, mild-entertaining site was shown to be my favorite lil' pezzo di bello, Matteo.

Monday, October 22, 2007

it's been years

since i wrote a poem. i used to do it every day. then i quit.

My jaw.
My fist.
My heart.
Clenched, wrenched, drenched with ticking, tocking
The clock not stopping.
How are you?
I cried.
Are you ok?
I lied.
A word not heard, not said.
Not felt. Lived. Had. Beaten. Sad.
Wasted on words. On thoughts. On help.
Needing a reason. Apart from self.
Drunk on fears. Sober on tears.
How are you?
I'm fine.
Are you ok?
In time.
Keeping my head above
the draining water of love.
Of pride. Of tried. Of times gone by.
I am the past. Today won't last.
Tomorrow, we'll see.
Just ask.

Saturday, October 20, 2007


to all my loyal readers (ie: the 4 of you) i have many good reasons why i have not posted.
and they all happened in the last 5 days.
i moved downtown to an apartment in the city.. and i dont have internet set up yet.
monday, i lost my job. thanks, but no thanks. (cue the freak-out about just signing an expensive lease).
then, unfortunately, i broke up with my boy of almost 3 years.
so now i was in a new place, no job, no boy. within 3 days.
then yesterday, i hear i may get my job back... but not JUST my contract job, a full-hire salary position.

needless to say, it's been a crazy week and i went through more than most go through in a year. and it sucks and it's exciting all at once.

the end.

Friday, October 12, 2007

meow hiss hiss. shut up.

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one of the latest controversial ads comes to us from the UK. and i absolutely love it.
some people seem to feel that it's catty and malicious. they feel as though it is trying to draw women in by praying on their instinct to be jealous of the hot girl in the office.

i, however, think it targets men. who are are being reminded that there is a hot girl and they should look good for her. and by good, of course i mean rippling, sweaty and healthier.

nothing about this ad offends me, regardless of who they are trying to address. sure it exploits the superficiality of some people (god forbid we recognize a thread of vanity in our society!) but, that's all advertising is anyway...superficial.

the reason i love this, and you should too, is that it is honest. you could be a jealous girl trying to look hotter than another girl in the office. you could be a horny guy, feebly hoping that lifting some free weights will get you laid by the hot girl in the office. either way, it's a true motivation, a true statement.

i even saw one argument that said something along the lines of people who try to lose weight for the reason in the ad won't keep the weight off because they are losing it for the wrong reasons and not for themselves. you, my friend, are just looking for something to argue about. that's completely unrelated to the damn ad. stop feeling sorry for yourself just because you've lost weight for the wrong reason and then gained it all back. fool.


flight of the conchords

i've only been so fortunate as to see two episodes of this HILARIOUS show... considering i don't have cable.
but this video is pretty damn priceless.

happy friday friendsies!

ho hum

Quick, bring be a beaker of wine so that I may whet my mind and say something clever.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

nice moves

taken from mike's blog.
good for a laugh. i want to take the guy in red home with me and keep him forever.

Murs - 20 Answers

lyric of da day:
"This is still the beginning, still unravelling ribbon
The mission is to travel for as far as the vision."

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

i call him b.l.a.r.g.h.

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a brilliant little website that turns up some interesting stuff.
apparantly this picassohead is my tuesday.
make your own.

dis and dat

very cool

very fun

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Holy silly lessons Batman!

Robin: "You can't get away from Batman that easy!"
Batman: "Easily."
Robin: "Easily."
Batman: "Good grammar is essential, Robin."
Robin: "Thank you."
Batman: "You're welcome."

I'm bringing you this nugget from a site full of quotes where Batman lectures Robin. I particularly enjoy the one above as I particularly enjoy good grammar.

Other goodies:
Robin: "Where'd you get a live fish, Batman?"
Batman: "The true crimefighter always carries everything he needs in his utility belt, Robin."

Robin: "Let's go!"
Batman: "Not you, Robin. They have strict licensing laws in this country. A boy of your age is not allowed in a drinking tavern."

Robin: "If we close our eyes, we can't see anything."
Batman: "A sound observation, Robin."

Batman: "Robin, you haven't fastened your safety bat-belt."
Robin: "We're only going a couple of blocks."
Batman: "It won't be long until you are old enough to get a driver's license, Robin, and you'll be able to drive the Batmobile and other vehicles. Remember, motorist safety."
Robin: "Gosh, Batman, when you put it that way.."

(in Batmobile, on golf course)
Robin: "Let's get going and make an emergency bat-turn!"
Batman: "Not this time, old chum. Have to think of the golfers. The retro-rockets would burn up the course for a hundred yards."

Robin, looking at Batgirl: "You know something, Batman?"
Batman: "What's that, Robin?"
Robin: "She looks very pretty when she's asleep."
Batman: "I thought you might eventually notice that. That single statement indicates to me the first oncoming thrust of manhood, old chum."

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Wednesday, October 3, 2007

two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, jesus

one of my oft-read blogs,, lead me to this little gem.

A recent press release, done in conjunction with a new movie coming out about the Ten Commandments, did a bit of market research.

This amazingly awesome testament to American living revealed that more Americans can list the ingredients of a McDonald's Big Mac than the Ten Commandments.

Guilty as charged!

In a moment of tooting a horn that no one cares to hear, Ron Wexler, Mr Prez of the Ten Commandments Commission explained "Knowing and living the Ten Commandments empowers people and feeds their souls, while knowing the contents of a famous hambuger, at most, only feeds the stomach."

Thanks Wexy, but knowing the Ten Commandments feeds my soul about as much as knowing the colors of the rainbow. While living them may empower and feed some souls, perhaps some find solace in the 540 calorie-punchin' Mac-tastic.

The moral of the story, my friends, is that advertising is the shiznit.

If it weren't for that damn catchy jingle about the ingredients of a Big Mac, I probably wouldn't know them. Perhaps the Ten Commandments, the aforementioned "soul food," should be jingle-d.

Wicky wicky REMIX!@!!


if you are any bit as much of a blog-whore as me, you've probably seen this since it hit the blog scene a bit back.
nonetheless it is lovely and unexpected.

Friday, September 28, 2007

la parola del giorno

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it's back, the word of the day. the parola del giorno.
today's word is one i haven't heard of before:
giovare (v) - to be useful (pronounced: joe-var-ay)
or giovevole (adj) - useful (pronounced: joe-vay-voe-lay)

Now, on to business.
A few things I've found useful lately:

- the microwave at work
- exercising
- work boys
- colored pens
- hair gel
- vodka sodas
- cold weather
- self-control
- pictures
- revlon colorstay lip stuff
- patience
- pretending
- sweat rags
- beef
- reality
- fantasy
- sharpies
- plugs
- the IT guy
- conversation
- loneliness
- post-its
- quarters
- h20
- blogs
- both daves
- binder clips
- sarcasm
- boobs

Thursday, September 27, 2007

suggestions please

so, regarding my list of why women are better than men... please send me your reasons. Email or comment me about them.
Sethel already sent me some good ones, so the more the merrier.


and thank you.


Wednesday, September 26, 2007

sit vs stand

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A couple weeks ago I was reading one of those lengthy lists of why it is better to be a man than to be a woman. My favorite of the 100 reasons, reason #49, was "You can eat a banana in a hardware store."

So I started looking for lists of the opposite: why being female is better. I was disappointed. You see, the list about male superiority was funny in that it talked about things guys just get to do that are fun/weird/cool/etc without getting judged. The girls reasons, on the other hand, were all ways we "get" to use our bodies to get out of responsibility/manipulate men/get free things/take the easy road/be pampered.

Poppycock I say!

Screw those women. Not to say that I haven't enjoyed a few perks of the like. But the fact that the was ALL that the list was pissed me off a bit. So I will be formulating my own list of reasons being female could potentially maybe be better. (I have no loyalty to this belief (that women are better... or that men or better for that matter) but I see it as a challenge more than anything.)

Coming soon.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Dear Tazo Berryblossom White,

There ain't nothing about you that don't do something for me.

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sheer genius

great dance moves stay stylish

i found this 3 months ago. so if you've seen it before, than i apologize. i apologize that you have to be entertained and slightly humored AGAIN.

Monday, September 24, 2007

timmy. the turtle.

he was cold one day.
molto freddo.
considering he is cold-blooded, it makes sense.
he came across a boiling pot of hot acqua.
cold timmy + warm acqua = timmy jumping into the pot.
not his best choice.

i hope you enjoyed my bilingual story.

appendix a

other reasons i love fall:
pumpkin-flavored everything. namely blue moon pumpkin ale, starbucks pumpkin spice lattes and pumpkin pie or pumpkin ice cream from anywhere.
and hail.
and snow days! (a redeeming quality of colorado)

Friday, September 21, 2007

finally, a great commercial

everything about this works.

one man's trash...


"British artists Tim Noble and Sue Webster make sculptures that are unremarkable in and of themselves, but which cast amazing realistic shadows onto gallery walls. This first piece is “Dirty White Trash (With Gulls)”, composed from the artist’s rubbish from the six months it took to create piece (plus a pair of dead seagulls, for good measure)."

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don't act like you're not blown away by the awesomeness of this.

2 days left of summa summa summatime

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today is the second-to-last day of summer. and i'm pumped.
don't get me wrong, i had a really awesome summer. my contract job gave me the freedom to travel and see my entire family, college friends, and old high school friends. i saw graduations, weddings, and numerous bars. it was wonderful. it was hot.
i heart fall. and here is why.
i love scarves. and sweaters (girls look HOT in sweaters)
i love bundling up and walking to a coffee shop and sipping a steaming hot latte on the walk back.
rain is the most wonderful thing ever. when it rains i usually feel at peace and happier. and it doesn't stop me from going about my day. it just makes it better.
leaves change pretty colors and all that, but more importantly, it smells like fall. and fall smells here smell like oregon all the time. and i love that.
i get to cook warm, delicious meals without heating up the apartment for 3 days.
snuggling. 'nuff said.
my favorite holiday, halloween, is right in the thick of fall. i love the little dressed up chitlins.
some of my favorite memories are from the fall. fall was when i returned to school from a summer away and saw all my friends. it was a time to figure out what the next few months had in store for my life. this year is no different. i'm moving and may get hired on at my job. change is the air, and so is mutha-fuggin fall!!
please, oh please, tell me you love it too.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

dear Rosebeard

i want to boing your curly hair. i like you because you don't speak italian so it makes me feel better than you in at least one, arbitrary way. i also like that you are a super nerd. i like to think that i could concept with you for weeks on end without finding a limit to our collective imagination or ability to inspire each other. i like that i haven't known you that long and have spent less time in the same state as you than out of it but still feel some pressing desire to keep in contact. and i hope you feel the same way. i like that you are prone to numerous nicknames from me. i'm quite certain you are the only person i know who can be over-worked AND under-worked at the same time. drinking in NY is a beautiful, blurry memory, particularly getting dropped off in the middle of nowhere by the useless cabby. i am proud to be the least-stupidest ad girl, but am still awaiting my certificate... and for that you are not a valuabilitynessismist. i think you are very hard to impress. me too. if i were to make up a word for you it would be stratimation.
until our next encounter,
mad morgan rackham

a brilliant nugget

"Appealing workplaces are to be avoided. One wants a room with no view, so imagination can meet memory in the dark."
Annie Dillard


My top 10 pet peeves:
10. like, um, you know, um, like, um, you know?
9. slow drivers
8. overconfidence in mediocrity
7. using speakerphone
6. popular fashion.. guess what? you look like shit.
5. bragging
4. blaming others
3. loud, slurpy, smacking eating
2. when people are late, on anything
1. really loud cell phone rings. put that shit on vibrate for the love of god.

Monday, September 17, 2007

hold the elevator.

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you see the elevator doors closing as you approach it. you gauge your proximity to said elevator. you then decide of you want to be THAT GUY, the one who demands that everyone else put their life on hold because you were a few seconds too late.

so, when is it appropriate to yell "hold the elevator"?

you tell me. because the way i see it, there is a fine line between me being a jerk (by not "holding" for you) and you being an impatient sloth (by not accepting that you were just a little to slow this morning).

i say that if you are within in 15 feet of the elevator, it is appropriate to ask for the hold. if you are 15-30 feet away, you better show some hustle. if you are 30+ feet away, i expect a full blown sprint, gucci heels or not miss thang.

perhaps the better way to decide if you are close enough to project your slower-than-me schedule on the person the in the elevator is time. in other words, get to the door you yelled at within 5 seconds. that's quite a long time. especially considering the elevator in this building takes only about 4 seconds to go from ground floor to the 15th, where i land.

while i would never yell "hold the elevator," i really don't mind holding the elevator for someone. all i ask is for a little effort and a bit of hustle on your part.

good day sir.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

someone else's moment

if you haven't heard of this, i understand.
but that's why i'm hear to share it with you.
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it's called a blind camera. and instead of capturing your moment, it remembers that instant and searches the web for other images taken at that precise instant in time. so, instead of remembering your moment, you will be instantly connected to a world of other people's moments.

freakin cool.


my tasty treats

heres the reason you should read the other blogs linked on the right:
(photos have been stolen from various internets... and i feel they demonstrate the caliber of each respective blogger).

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he is my endless inspiration. and one sexy, sexy beast.

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he knows about vino and defines bello. he causes great laughter in my soul. i miss him so.

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he comes from good swedish stock. he's hairy. he's wise.

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i dont even know him that well, but i like his style.

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he updates regularly and is one silly writer.

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he's opionated. he lets me be his friend. he's old.

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he runs his mouth. disclaimer: he can be mushy gushy gross.

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she has the power to make kids cry, but doesn't use it. she's a philanthropist.

a buck-fifty

for those of you who don't know, i used to weigh over two benjamins. barely. but nonetheless, 205lbs. i was my heaviest my senior year of high school.

i never was really insecure about my weight and didn't actually realize how big i was until now, when i look back at old pictures.

since then, i can think of three changes in my life that helped me lose weight.

one, i went away to college where i ate better and walked a lot, not to mention i was roommates with the pencil-thin ms perrypants who motivated me to go to the gym and get foxy. i would say over the first two years i lost about 17 pounds without even really focusing on losing weight... just being healthier and more active.

two, during my junior year (jan 2005) at college my mom and i had a long-distance (she lives in CA) weight loss competition. this was the brutal battle between mother and daughter. i counted every calorie and worked out 5 to 6 days a week for an hour each time. this wasn't because i was crazy about the weight itself, but i was determined to win. ten weeks later, when the competition ended, my mom and i were both rockstars, but of course, i must claim my title as first place winner supreme. i lost 18 pounds.

three, after graduating UO last year, i moved out here to denver. i didn't know a single person. so i had a ton of free time. not only did i focus on myself, i had absolutely no social life and used all that extra time for running. since last year i've lost 8 more poundies.

so, if you've been doing the math, that puts me at 162 pounds. two glorious pounds away from being in the 150s. the buck-fifties. the last time i was in the 150s i was probably a freshman in high school. yikes.

so here's my goal. by the end of the year i want to lose 8 pounds and find myself comfortably in the 150s. (and no, this isn't going to be some overhyped bridget jones' diary -esque weight loss chronicle)

we'll see what happens. eight is a lot considering i don't have too much fat to lose, i already work out and eat healthy which means i'll have to really amp up both categories. oh yeah, and let us not forget about the holidays. halloween (my favorite). thanksgiving (gobble bee-otch) and xmas (where da ham at?).

i'll let you know of any developments in my progress.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

two smiles. one big. one small.

first the big smile. not because it's more important. but because it is bigger. it's bigger because it's a life change. and it's bigger because it is also coupled with uncertainty and, as a result, it is invigorating.

big smile:
moving downtown soon (pending a rental application)

this is a big smile in the moments when it is, in fact, a smile. sometimes it's a bunched-up what-am-i-doing cringe. but when it's a smile, it's big and radiant.
this may be the only time for a while that i can afford to live downtown for a bit. so i'm trying to make that happen. it's time for a change, excitement, new friends.
please remind me of this when i am in shock and miss living with jones.

now the small smile. it may be small but it makes me feel all-around warm inside. sometimes, the small smiles like this even make me a little bit happier with humanity.

small smile:
my italian student gave me a raise

i didn't ask for it. i didn't even suggest that i was in any way in need of more money. money never even came up. i would tutor for free anyway seeing as how i love it. but he said i deserve it. he said i should charge more anyway because i'm good and he learns a lot from me. i was flattered and humbled. thank you sir. and you're welcome.

what's your big and small smile for today? hmm?

my first baby

and i shall name it Captain Awesome.
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and i shall count down the days until i can use it on real snow.
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my bank account may be feeling the blow of my recent sniagrab purchase. but i'll show it who the boss is around here when i steal away a couple hundred more for my ski pass.

then guess what? i'm going to panic a bit, seeing as how i'm a contract employee and thus, very disposable.... unlike my income.

Monday, September 10, 2007

graffiti for good, not evil.

i love graffiti.

i saw some on the way to work today. (not an unsual occurence).

but today was different. the best graffiti i've seen in denver yet.

lots of hearts.

"frank loves greg."

hell yes frank.

..and for todays fun fact, the word graffiti is italian. imagine that! the plural of graffito, meaning a scratch or scratched; from the verb graffiare, meaning to scratch.

Friday, September 7, 2007

Oh dear lord

I laughed so hard when I watched this. Maybe I was just in the right mindset.
too damn funny.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Pavarotti dies at 71, his voice lives on

Whether or not you enjoy opera, you can't deny the power of Luciano Pavarotti's voice. For those of you who have not heard, he died this morning in Modena, Italy at the age of 71, losing the battle with pancreatic cancer.

The article on ( really captured how I feel about Pavarotti's talent:

"“Luciano’s voice was so extraordinarily beautiful and his delivery so natural and direct that his singing spoke right to the hearts of listeners whether they knew anything about opera or not,” Metropolitan Opera music director James Levine said in a statement."

As someone who belives in the power of words, lyrics, music, and voice... I find this to be not only newsworthy but an opportunity to be inspired by something amazing in someone else.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

why i heart pictures

For those of you who haven't visited, do it now.

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This is an image from one of my favorite albums on the site called "What the Camera Saw." It's a selection of images that the camera decided to capture, thus rendering useless and insignificant the photographer.

It's worth a quick skim and if it doesn't catch your interest, then go do something else-- like doodle and/or sing loudly.

As to my title of "why i heart pictures," i heart them because they tell more about us than we can ever tell ourselves. ever.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007


my friend wants to talk to you

The scene:
it's 1am at the Pats (a cheap, fratboy-esque, testosterone overdose basement bar, for those of you not familiar)

The characters:
Yours truly - MonMon the Sexatron
A handful (roughly 4) of drunken boys with British accents. fake? perhaps.

The drama:
MonMon is getting ready to leave with Sethel and JonBoy when Boy A grabs here arm and mutters something incoherent.
"What?" yells MonMon. "It's too loud in here and you're too drunk!"
Boy A yells back "My friend wants to talk to you" and motions towards the clearly obliterated Boy B while boys C and D lean against the wall and giggle and shake their heads, tanked beyond belief.
Boy B smiles. "I do want to talk you." then to Boy A "Dude let her go, she was on her way out"
Boy A "He's been wanting to talk to you all night."
MonMon "Well that's weird cuz I've only been here for about 30 minutes and he didn't come and talk to me. You boys have a good night I'm on my way out with boyfriend and lover," motioning toward JonBoy and Sethel.
Boy B yells to Boy A "Man she has a boyfriend, I told you!" then to MonMon "And a lover? Well, my buddy still wants to talk to you."
MonMon "Well that's super nice but I'm outta here and you guys are all cut off."
Cue the shitty little drunken smiles and giggles from boys A, B, C and D.

MonMon exits stage left.

End Scene.

While I'm always flattered by boys wanting to chat with me in bars (regardless of their level of intoxication) this was particularly interesting. I mean how ridiculous to have a middle man when you're standing literally 4 feet away. Not only that but whats the deal with guys "wanting to talk to you all night" and not actually growing and pair and doing it. Trust me fellas, the last thing a girl wants is your drunk (and albeit, cuter) friend coming over and motioning towards a drunker (and less cute) you saying that you're interested. I mean it was definitely silly but it was going no where.

Here's what you do. I call it:
The Montastic Guide to Chatting up a Dime Piece (in 4 easy steps!)
1. It's ok to stare a bit until you make eye contact. Smile.
2. Repeat
3. Walk over and introduce yourself, offer to buy a drink. Ex: "what are you drinking? Next one's on me." Smile. (Don't worry, most girls will let you buy them a drink even if they think you aren't that cute, you look like a tool, they have a boyfriend, they were just leaving, etc etc etc. Either way, it's a definite way to break the ice, duh.)
4. Buy said drink. Chatsy-watsy.

This public service announcment brought to you by Montastic.

Friday, August 17, 2007

In a word? Noisy.

Revisiting my old post about the italian word of the day (parola del giorno), today's word is:
rumore (roo-more-ay): noise, uproar.

These are a few of my favorite noises:

humming subconsciously- when someone doesn't realize they are humming. it's purely carefree.
emptying your computer's trash - what a rewarding crinkle sound
goofy laughs you think are fake but aren't
hearty laughs from the deepest depths that override any other emotion
violent laughs that sound like they hurt and are so good that they do
quiet laughs people don't think you hear but you do
wheezy laughs just before someone crosses over to that laugh that only dogs can hear
accidental snorting while laughing - gets me every time
the italian language
bicycle bells - it reminds me of old movies and classic youth
turn signals on the car - click-click click-click click-click. i've always loved it. 'nuff said.
accents you haven't heard before and can't place
teeth being brushed
shaving - the scraping sound is one of self improvement, depending on the person
the dull sound of being submerged in water - everything is more simple under there
liquor splooshing around in its bottle
coffee being ground - the sound of destruction, both to the beans and your sleepiness
lighters lighting
when a bottle cap falls to the ground and hits the side of the glass bottle on the way
water bottles being filled
when my phone vibrates - someone somewhere is actively communication. amazing.
stomach growls
walking on coarse gravel
tap dancing
glass shattering or dinnerware breaking
impromptu yelps/cheers/woohoos/screams/gasps/etc. Any noise unplanned and suprising is good by me.

A Tuscan Photo Lexicon

during my morning reading of blogs today, I stumbled across a project by a man named Douglas Gayeton. It's called My Shoes are Caked With Mud. A Tuscan Photo Lexicon. and it is amazing.

And no, not just because it's italian-oriented. I absolutely love the way the words interplay with the images. There's so much meaning in the photography itself (most of which is usually left up to imagination). But, having the words included adds a different perspective and a little insight into the photographer (what he chooses to highlight), the people in the picture (their "true" identities) and the endless possibility of two-dimensional imagery.

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check out the rest of the art and see if it inspires at you at all.

Monday, August 6, 2007

Buzz Buzz

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so, i went on a run tonight.. to clear my head and figure out what i need in my life.

i ran quite far (4.4 miles) and shockingly, something possibly meaningful happened. now, being one for symbolism, i know that bees symbolize creativity, hard work, perserverance and eloquence. (Although i still looked it up online to make sure I was right)

Well guess what happened?
No, a nice lil bee didn't land on my finger as I jogged.
No, I did not get stung by a malicious, ill-tempered bee.

Instead, as I was running, I shit you not a bee flew right into my mouth and hit the back of my throat. In shock, I bit down, thus killing the bee before spitting it out.

It left a horribly bitter taste in my mouth that is still there almost an hour later.

How's that for symbolism.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

invisibility takes 1/8 inch

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I've recently become nerd chic. New specs. A hot-for-teacher aura. A new outlook?

Here's the story. I've been the proud owner of new specs for roughly a week and a half. I'm not used to wearing glasses except my sunglasses. Naturally.
The other day, driving home for work, there was a succulunt man on the side of the road. Feeling entitled to ogle him, I did just that, giving him the once-over twice, and then a third time. Yum. I felt fine with this seeing as how I thought I was wearing my sunglasses (which I think were invented for the sole purpose of checking out people without them knowing). Turns out, Mon-Mon wasn't wearing her sunglasses. I was, in fact, wearing my new glasses. And he was very aware of my wandering eyes. And you know what happened next? He gave me a head nod and a make-your-knees-weak-so-it's-a-good-thing-you're-sitting-down smile. Imagine that!

I was taken aback not only by the presumptious attitude I have when I wear my sunglasses--and the suprise at realizing that. But also, I was pleased with the fact that he smiled.
This led me to two conclusions.
1. Be bold. Eye contact is kickin' in a big way.
2. In the off chance you don't feel bold.. check a mirror and make sure you have your invisibility turned on, in the form of sunglasses, not clear-lensed specs.

This public service announcement brought to you by Montastic.

Friday, July 27, 2007

28 lines from 28 songs.

A poem created throughout the day...
each line is from a different song.

each stanza is 7 lines.
each stanza is from a different playlist, on shuffle.
i named it " I call it Friday."

I call it Friday

we take what we can get
i want to save you
i will patch all the holes up again
would you like to dance around the world with me?
wake me up
another wasted breath
helps me navigate the wooden smiles

timeless, priceless, survive any crisis
we show them, we prove
i refuse to lose self
while you’re searchin for some trick
i’m sick with the words
much too nice to quit
and i’m still here

but my two feet can’t find a way
i’m only fooling myself
where you go is where i am
and if you stray
daylight, it burns so fast
i’m alive, i’m alive
are you seeing sparks shooting out from me?

if it can be broke
and i got one mile to go
if the sky starts falling
it happens all the time
all i really can tell is i’ve been hit
disappear here
you know it suits you well

hmmm, oddly insightful, highly intriguing

songs used:
1. soco amaretto lime – brand new; i want to save you – something corporate; home – jack johnson; i’ll back you up – dmb; light up ahead – further seems forever; again i go unnoticed – dashboard confessional; angel- matt nathanson
2. timeless – guru; dog it – digable planets; funk shit – marley marl; dinninit – de la soul; lyrical swords - gza and ras kass; same team, no games – gang starr; i’m a fighter – supernatural
3. i don’t feel like dancing – scissor sisters; only fooling myself - kate voegele; more – matthew west; brand new day – alex lloyd; twilight – sweetlou; strange love – phixx; burning up – beach mercer
4. pioneers – bloc party; trunk – kings of leon; sky starts falling – doves; when i’m alone – the rifles; it’s a hit – we are scientists, song for clay – bloc party; napolean says - phoenix

Thursday, July 26, 2007

in vino veritas (thanks Plato)

In wine truth.
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Did a bit o' wine research today. Helping my Matteo on a lovely lil project.
I found numerous quotations by famous people (and some wannabe famous people) about wine, its depth, greatness and ability to bring people together and tear them apart.
If wine were a person, he or she would constantly bring joy into my life with spontaneity, support, and personality.

After reading probably close to 300 quotes, one shone through (forgive the pun, it was an accident) as the most amazing.

Dom Perignon, upon first tasting champagne:

"Come quickly! I am tasting stars."

Mindblowing. Love it love it.

Friday, July 20, 2007

but i dont know how.

here's the deal. it's been a blogless week.
as i have yet to be inspired.
i've tried countless things to achieve inspiration, all of which have failed.
1. massive amounts of caffeine.
result: generally useless and wired, followed immediately by lethargy
2. reading other blogs (this usually works.. or at least turns up something interesting)
result: i feel bad about my lame blog. sadface.
3. stalk people on myspace and facebook
result: disappointment in today's youth slash missing close friends.
4. work out class to clear the head
result: sore abs, babs and sabs coupled with less energy to think.
5. writing a poem (ala Seth's advice)
result: the "how'd that thought get in my head" thought
note: this was almost inspiring if i wasn't scared of what else would come out.
6. running
result: rejuvenation, ready to think creatively, but still without inspiration
7. reconnecting with an old friend!
result: awesome fun times, wanting to learn about what he's done in the past 5.5 yrs
8. dreaming of my next move in life
result: overwhelmed with possibility, excited by the unknown.

To sum up: highs and lows of energy/intrigue/entertainment this week. No amazing inspiration. Any ideas of what else to do? I'm ready and willing to try.

Friday, July 13, 2007

vacuum veracity

today we (meaning I) celebrate the underappreciated janitors and their fine vacuum art. i know that when i vacuum i'm always happy to see that it makes cool zigzaggy patterns in my carpet. but my patience with creating anything symmetrical is lacking, to say the least.
i do, however, rather enjoy making lines with my finger on suede. and yes, there is the occasional polka dotted pattern. this usually occurs while i'm on my EnduroSuede couch, on the phone with my mom or any other long-winded person i choose to share my telephone time with.
needless to say, i'm no vacuum artist.
the carpet between the elevator and the lobby of my office has a typical checkered pattern. small squares of neutral colors. boring.
but wait! there's a roughly one-foot, solid-color edge around the checkered pattern. this is where the art takes place. the glorious but limited perimeter of a seemingly mediocre carpet.
today the art was very triangular. straight lines. harsh angles. sharp. geometry.
two days ago it was a bit more squiggly. soft. curves. a warm hug.
one day it was just straight lines running parallel to the edge of the checkers. a brain fart day. a day with no creativity. empty.

i hope that somewhere out there, people actually make fine art with vacuums. kind of like chalk art recreations of classic paintings, or ice sculptures of famous people. or lego recreations of famous scenarios.

imagine the possibilities of this great new medium. carpet.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007


consider me impressed. so simple. so cool. me likey lots.

Monday, July 9, 2007

enlightenment at Estes Cone

6.4 miles round trip + 70 oz water + tough as shit incline + scree = need for huge sandwich

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What I learned at the top of a mountain:

i can actually sweat 100% bile.
70 oz aint enough.
i love Sweet Salty Nut.
Colorado is fan-freakin-tastically breathtaking.
wind is windy.
Sethypoo is da bomb.
i lovelovelove cool, gnarly trees.
kids and hardcore old people can kick my ass
my family should move closer to me.
if you slip, just keep going.
keep seth full.
i want to have more outdoorsy friends.
sunblock doesn't cut it at 11,000 feet.
i need to wear high-butt elastic-waist pants when i hit 50.
babies get a free ride up the mountain on papa's back. spoiled little turds.
happiness is possible.
the time has come to go horseback riding.
buy hiking boots.
my legs are shapely and nice.
anyway you want it, that's the way you need it (ala Journey)
shaky knees, solid heart.
smelly, dirty, sweaty, sore, burnt, hungry is the most wonderful feeling of accomplishment.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

look at my junk

Today's cool bit of inspiration comes from a russian website called Face Your Pockets.
Essentially you take all the shit you have in your pockets/purse/bag/etc... toss them on a scanner (being as artsy fartsy or nerdy as you'd like with the layout and placement of said junk). Then, find a wee lil hole to stick your face in and scan it. Simple? yes. Brilliant? Probably not. Kinda cool for this morning? Yes'm.

Here's my favorite picture, although there are some way cooler ones. I just like this guy. I might even love him.

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picture from

Monday, July 2, 2007

Chi vuole sposarmi?

Per practicar parlare in italiano un po', ho cercato dei penpals internazionali sul internet. C'e' un sito ( che mi sembrava abbastanza buono. Ho fatto un profilo semplice di quello che cerco (una persona per chattare in italiano o inglese) e di chi sono io-- una donna che non cerca un rapporto romantico. Finora (4 giorni da quando ho messo il mio profilo sul sito) ho gia' ricevuto 3 messaggi di uomini che vogliono sposarmi. O dio! Veramente non sposero' un uomo che non puo' leggere il mio profilo con una comprensione fondamentale d'inglese.
Scusa signore ma ho detto che ero interessata nelle amicizie. Tuttavia, hai 42 anni e normalmente non mi sono innamorata dei vecchi.
Certo e' un peccato. Ma non scrivermi di piu'.

Friday, June 29, 2007

i'm a pretty pretty princess

high noon.
well, more like 12:20.
larimer square.
the evil bean.
i was called princess.
yes. princess.
well listen here, your highness... if i'm a damn princess then you better garnish my royal, mass-produced potato salad with a dash of paprika and sprig of your finest parsley.

by the way, you kind of rock.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

you're young until you're not.

sometimes there's a song that you just wish you wrote.
it actually affects the way you think about your day.
and it blows your damn mind.
music is pretty much the coolest thing ever.
these are the lyrics that are affecting me today:

This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath

No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood
And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again

song: On the Radio
artist: Regina Spektor

She's uh maze eeng.


do you ever find yourself talking to someone and thinking "wow, this person is just a really, genuinely, bad person. i don't like this person."

well, after much research, i'm quite certain that no one has ever thought this about me.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

nut up.

Yes, I have a blog now.
No, I'm not going to say that I "finally gave in" or I got "sucked in" or anything that most people say implying that they somehow struggled to avoid it.
If you have a blog, nut up to it.
I have one now, not because I want to join some weird little blogging subculture, or because I believe my thoughts are going to change anyone's world. Or even because I feel like I have anything worthwhile to say.
I have my blog because I have time to do it now. And because I DO have things to say. Whether or not they matter is a different story.
Maybe I'll tell you it sometime.

lies i tell myself every morning

you slept well.
you won't drink coffee this morning. caffeine is bad bad bad.
you are content. life is great.
you've accepted the commute as "relaxing"
you love advertising.
you don't want to move out of CO.
everyone will notice if your purse doesn't match your outfit.
you like cheerios.
today will be much better.
today, you'll take all your vitamins. it's easy. they're right there on the counter.
everyone is going to see that slight skin discoloration on your face.
work is important. so is a career.

all lies.
in reality... i never really sleep well and thus, i drink coffee every morning. i absolutely love it. black and rich. occassionally, when i'm feeling whimsical and girly, i'll add some creamer. rare. but i'll do it. also, i'm not content. if i had my way there are a lot of things i would change about my life right now. it's just a matter of not having the means (financial, emotional, psychological, geographic etc). My commute is not relaxing. I'm in a total braindead zone in the morning. Then, on the return... it's 10 degrees hotter in my car than outside (no AC) and really I'm just sweating to the oldies. Except.. I have a non-functioning radio so I'm just sweating to nothing. I'm not sure I love advertising and I'm still fairly sure I want to move from CO. No one fuckin cares if my purse doesn't match. and if they do, screw them. they're no good anyway. cheerios aren't that good. today will be the same as yesterday. you wont take your vitamins, they upset your stomach. no one's looking at your face.. it's the rack that really gets noticed (wink wink). and no, a career is not important. not at age 23. not when you can do a million other things.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

a bit of Bella in amsterdam

"Satellite City" gets a facelift.
Oh and it's pretty too.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

caption from
June 21: A man watches from a balcony as satellite dishes are seen on buildings in Amsterdam, Netherlands. The project to 'pimp' the dishes is an initiative of a Dutch artist working with school children in an area of the city referred to as 'satellite city,' inhabited predominantly by first and second generation immigrants. The hooks on the roof are used all over the city to move furniture in and out of apartments using a rope and pulley, as the staircases are narrow.

Pretty much one of the coolest things I've seen today. Granted it is only 930 am. Hmm.

Monday, June 25, 2007

cottonmouth for breakfast

After the necessary week of recovery from my epic trip to Oregon for graduation.... I thought the best way to recap the weekend was to limit it to the highlights and not-so-highlights.. and screw everything else in between. Obviously.

Trying to relive some silly notion of the past, Robyn and I decided to make a Vodkamelon. Naturally the watermelon we bought was de-friggin-licious. After Perry and I melon-balled to our hearts content, we reloaded the melon balls into the empty halves of the melon.. and proceeded to add a handle of cheap, cheap Vodka. Thus ruining the delicious treat and our glorious memories of Vodkamelon forever.

Nothing says funtastic memories like a dance party at Adam and Ryan's hizzouse. While it remains but a blurry memory, it is one of those I cherish most. To sum up: Humpty hump, PBR, Shout, superhuman Hugh strength, beer shower, reading with Nicholas Cage, hammock, fierce arm thrusting, Chris Breen backpack, sore triceps, sweaty sweaty sweatness.

Bed at 4am. Up at 830am. 'nuff said.

Note: If dance party one isn't quite enough.. try dance party two at Indigo with holla holla dolla wells and big speakers that are dance-on-able. Add a little Curt letting his hair down, a few sleezy dudes, a gallon of sweat and something tells me the night will end in an accidental 4-way group spooning.

Spooning at 4am. Up at 730am. damn graduations to attend.

Running on but a mere 8 hours of sleep in 2 nights, probably still drunk, feeling generally miserable about life.. it was clearly time for a family/friends party at the brewery for all the proud parents and beaming grads. Oh yes.. and free beer. Talk about fun times! Diana and I became sisters, somehow. We were far too well-off on the beer by 7pm. And yes, there was delicious pizza. The end.

In a word, the weekend was amazing. In a better word, it was GLORIOUS. In a couple words, it was the best time I've had in a looong time with some of my favoritest people ever.. and yes, I lost my voice for 3 days after.. and I am only now feeling healthy again.

Top Notch team Eugene. I give you a gold star for the year.

Wrinkly, old stuff

1. I used to be too shy to talk to people. I wouldn't order my own food at restaurants or talk to strangers. My brother would have to ask our teacher if I could go to the bathroom when we were in elementary school. secretly, I'm still shy.

2. When I go to the gym I workout harder and longer than the other girls around me--until I'm about to pass out. They're impressed. I'm broken.

3. I almost stayed in Italy the second time and didn't come back to finish school.

4. My nose is insanely squishy nose and I have the sharpest elbows. So, you can try to break my nose. It won't work. Then, I'll retaliate by piercing you in the heart with my spear-like elbow.

5. I can pee really really fast.

6. One of the most rewarding things in life is cleaning. Laundry. dishes. shower. vaccuum. lysol. pine sol. 409. ajax. word up.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Of all the things I've lost..

So, as I sit at my desk at my new job.. I find I have excess time to kill. Luckily for me I brought my handy and oh-so-dandy set of 1000 Italian vocab cards I purchased at the local Barnes & Noble.

Drawing from the stack at random (and by random I mean I tried to pick right near the middle of the deck and then tried again and once more), I have found the Word of the Day. the Parola del Giorno, if you will. While it was a word I already knew, and thus, did not expand my vocab one bit, today's word is:

Perdere - to lose.

Things I've recently lost:

Three pounds
My other black pants
The lid to my coffee mug.
full use of my right thumb.
my flexible schedule.
my interest in television.
direct deposit
my alochol tolerance
my strong distaste for colorado
a functioning radio in my car
a functioning AC in my car
my squeak-free brakes on my car
the ring i got in Seattle
a sports bra
my fear of new jobs
respect for news broadcasts
patience with gay jokes
a friendship
contact with my italian loves
4 inches off my hair
my need for dark chocolate
a few grand in plane tickets
tolerance for ignorance
one good running sock
my old mp3 player
an extra set of contacts
a birth control pill
that strange, moldy smell in the car
the strong desire to work in advertising
full italian fluency
leg hair