Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Dear Groin, Knock it off.

Apparently women have groin muscles. Who knew? Probably a lot of people. And I probably did too. I blame the ol' "baby brain" on my lack of awareness of the female groin muscle.

For those of you who don't know...yes there's a second baby in this party train. Woot Woot. 4 months to go. Anyhoo -- I can pretty much blame every lapse of judgement, forgetful moment and dumb, confused look on having "baby brain." Talk about a cop out. I can't stand when people say they have baby brain. Yet, here I am. Blaming my groinal ignorance on an unborn child.

Sorry, sweetie. Mommy will learn more about anatomy before your arrival. (This is a lie).

Ok, so back to my groin. Um, ouch!

Here's the intense story of my maimed muscle.

I woke up bright and early, ready to start the day. Brewed up a fresh pot o' java. Turned on the news to educate myself on local matters, and sat down on the couch.

That. is. it.
I sat down.
I slowly sat down on a soft couch.
And I pulled my groin muscle.


This story of physical limitations brought you by Montastic.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Get in my belly!

Coolness here.

What a clever idea - sandwiches representative of all 50 states (a work in progress). Each sammy is made with ingredients representative of that state. Hence the name Stately Sandwiches.

Given my two most recent states (California and Colorado) , I think I'd love a Colorado sandwich please. Mainly because the CA sandwich has cucumbers on it and cukes are my nemeses. Eww.

But check out this beauty. Nom nom nom. That looks delicious.

Definitely representative of gool ol' Denver flavor. How I miss my beautiful, rocky state.

Based on the sandwiches crafty Kelly has created so far, I think I'm going to need to visit North Carolina. Word on the street is they have a lot of pulled pork. My fave!

On top of this delicious delightful idea, I heart the design! I love the deconstructed sandwiches, the cutting board, the wood table...and the retro feel of the Stately Sandwiches logo. Just lovely.

What do you think? Is your state on the menu so far? Is it representative of the local flava?

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

coming up on the big two-niner

That's right ladies and gents, my birthday is less than one week away.

And in case you are still struggling with what to pick out for my gift... look no further.

Oh. Dios. Mio.

Image 1

Something tells me the Big Face tees at The Mountain are the next big thing. Better get one while the gettin's good!

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

And suddenly there are more hours in a day


What the eff did I do with all my time before having a child? I used to think I was busy and there was no time to fit in a workout, call a friend to catch up, watch mind-blowingly cheesy lifetime movies, or whatever the hell else I wish had time to actually do now.

And yet, somehow I do. Granted a few lifetime movie-watching experiences have had to be sacrificed in the name of bathtime, dinnertime, playtime, crytime, kidtime. But I still get most of the same things done in a day. And yes, I still find time to make an excuse about not having time to workout.

I like to think that if I hadn't had a kid I'd be doing all these great things with my free time.

Why, I'd learn a new language!

Read a book for pleasure!

Educate myself on grown-up financial things!

Try exotic new recipes and restaurants!

Take up a cool craft project!

Go see more music!

But that's not really true because that wasn't the case before. I think what's really happened is that I've become more efficient. So it FEELS like I'm getting more done than just wiping small butts and pretending that I understand what my almost-two-year-old little BFF is saying.

In all actuality, I'm still the same person. Cramming more into one day than should be required.

Now I'm just slightly grayer, sweatier, sleepier, smellier. Oh yes.  That's how this mutha gets it done.

someecards Mom

Friday, June 7, 2013

Happy National Doughnut Day!

Behold! My favorito--the humble, glazed old fashioned.

Seriously, doughnut. Call me.

Lately, owls.

Hoot hoot folks. I've been lovin' owl-adorned things lately.

Not these kind of owls:

These kind of owls:

Oh dear, what a cute coffee cup that is! Ok ok, you're right. I don't use the word cute lightly. And I probably didn't really  mean it with this coffee cup. Though I do love the cartoony owls, and I do want more of such things.

In spite of my new owl affinity, I don't actually own any owl paraphernalia except for this mug. Well guess what? My birthday is coming up and now you have the perfect gift idea.

One more thing, this morning's coffee is complemented with the new Girl Scout Samoa Cookie-flavored coffee creamer. Drooolz.

Happy Friday, interwebs.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Rattlesnake Dentistry

Among my many weird dreams lately, last night I dreamt about rattlesnakes. I wouldn't say we were necessarily hunting them, but we were walking around some popular trails and clearing them from the paths.

Better yet, we were using our 2yo daughter to lure them out. Obviously. And this was something totally normal to do. Because clearly rattlesnakes just omg looooove little toddlers. There was some sort of rattlesnake guru guy with us as well.

He would pick up a rattlesnake, hold its head so its teeth showed, and remove overgrown teeth. Like rattlesnakes teeth don't naturally fall out when they are bad? Weird.  Yep, he'd just flick the old tooth off and a new, shorter, better tooth would be right below it.

So to sum up: rattlesnake searching with toddlerbait, philanthropic snakeman, fewer overgrown snake teeth.

Naturally I turned to the internet to decipher this dream. Well according to dreammoods.com, rattlesnakes in dreams represent the passage of time. And, depending the context, teeth can represent power. So removing teeth effectively represent the loss of power.... I guess.

Take that time, you have now power against me. That's all for now. Better end here because sitting in this position hurts my old lady back.

XX- Funky Rattlesnake Cartoon Post Card

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

The right tunes, a free night, inspiration.

A friend recently told me I should blog again. Even after all this time of being a lame non-creative-in-my-free-time person, she still checked this old blog to see if there were updates.

So here's what I did. I found myself with a free night. I logged into my old pandora account (pre-baby, pre-marriage, pre-real life, pre-nonblogginess). The tunes from the good ol' days of blogging are cranking from my laptop's average speakers. And, guess what??

I'm back!....for anyone still out there. Apparently blogging more was one of my new years resolutions. Last year. Hmph. Sorry about that folks. My bad. My very very bad.

So what does this mean? For starters it means I need to start being cool again and letting the world inspire me. It means I need to stop focusing on the mundane day-to-day of my life and seek out the unusual. It means I need to try new foods, meet new people, listen to new music, discover new art, redefine what art means to me, redefine what I mean to me..and somehow amidst all that...make blog posts that don't suck.

Though that's a bit ambitious. I'll aim for roughly a 66% non-suckage rate on my posts. I'm a realist these days.

Stay tuned. Shit's about to get real.