Friday, March 27, 2009

best series of pix EVARRRRGH

looking through old pix today, this series just had me in stitches! (yes, i said in stitches.) you see...sometimes when i laugh too hard, i fall over.





Montastic and RoboKnee take a walk, a 60-mile walk!



Ok well I've been signed up for this for a while, and it's time I start raising some moolah for dem boobies! I wasn't sure what would happen since RoboKnee was in the process of getting fixed. To be fair, RoboKnee is not fixed and I may still need surgery to fully figure out what is wrong.

Nonetheless, I've signed up for the 3-day, 60 mile Susan Komen walk in San Diego in November. I'll be walking with my mamasita, the amazing Chase, and other peeps you don't know.

I've pledged to raise of $2,300 for this..and have a short time to do it. It's going to be a lot of work and training to walk that far...especially considering I'm not sure how my knee will do.

So, please, feel inclined! Visit my personal page on the Komen site and make a donation...big or small! Every bit helps me inch toward my goal. And if you feel so generous, pass on this site to anyone you may know who would be interested in making a small donation toward my $2300 goal.

I know times are tough! But please help if you can. I've down the Race for the Cure the last 2 years and this walk seems like the icing on the cake. So check it out and help Montastic out!

This isn't the last you'll hear from me :)

Thursday, March 26, 2009

chase diagnoses my stomach pain

Chase: are you still sick?
me: ya my stomach is fucked up
Chase: bummer
me: ya fo realz
Chase: have you had peanut butter lately?
me: nope
Chase: hmmmm have you pooped lately? Im going to diagnose you. is it a sharp pain
me: ya
Chase: or more like grumbling? sharp? and particular side?
me: sharp grumbling high...like right under my ribs
Chase: ok...you have a punctured lung
me: oh fuck! that sounds serious

Dr Chase in da house!

Please note: NEVER trust Dr. Chase.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

paper won't protect you


amen sister

but honey, he's great at parties

perusing craigslist, per the usual, i found the perfect pet to gift my manlove.

he's great at parties and doesn't poop huge loads. oh, and he's a wombat.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

another sign you're tired

you make toast with cinnamon and sugar on top.

then realize (only after having bitten into the toast) that you accidentally grabbed the cumin instead of cinnamon.

gross-o.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

happy hump day


Nothing like the Carlton dance to get you through humpday!

wednesday things

Q:
the length of my hair is to stupid as
stupid is to ______________

A:
the length of my hair



Dear Bum With "Visions of an Egg McMuffin" Sign,
You and me both brosef! Those things aren't cheap. And yet I love them. I actually was going to go get one this morning, for funsies, then realized they're over $3. So I decided not to. Sausage McMuffins are only $1. Unfortunately I don't like those as much. What I'm trying to say, mr bum, is that you should change your sign to "Visions of a Sausage McMuffin." It'll be much less overwhelming to the McMuffin-wise driver because they'll think you only want one of their hard-earned dollars instead of three. Then again, if you also dislike the sausage variety McMuffin, please disregard my words and carry on my wayward son.
Sincerely,
Montastic



If you haven't seen Shannon wear an irish flag as a cape out to the bars, incorporate it into her dance moves, and run rapidly in place to simulate the speed necessary to make the cape flap in the wind....then you clearly cannot understand why her and I should be friends foeva.



Weird: buying celery and ranch at the store because someone else makes it sound so good, even though you strongly dislike celery...then realizing the idiocy of this the second you start driving home and smell the celery in the car. ugh.
Weirder: telling your brother you feel ready to start a family
Weirdest: goat eyes

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Monday, March 16, 2009

a couple old writings.

as I am about to begin a new chapter, i decided to go back and read old chapters (so to speak)...in the form of old writings.

my writings largely have to do with personal relationships. anyway, i found some interesting, some hard to read, some emotive, some enraging, some bittersweet.

and so...i thought i should share a little on my blog before i lost the nerve.

these aren't in order, and i'm not up to the task of sharing when they were written.

1.
She remembers your last goodbye
because she feared you couldn't be friends.
you still aren't, and are strangers now.

She remembers your last goodbye
because it was in a text message.
you lost her respect, and never will get it.

She doesn't remember your last goodbye
because she thinks she was drugged.
you'll never hear from her again, and don't deserve to.

She remembers your last goodbye
because she whispered it at you in her rearview mirror
you'll never understand, and should stop saying you do.

She doesn't remember your first meeting
because she was wildly insecure with guys.
you were her first love.

She remembers your first meeting
because you looked great in black.
you were the insecure one.

She remembers your first meeting
because you seemed lighthearted and fun.
you hid your true self well.

She remembers your first meeting
because it was something new.
you were chatty and awkward.

2.
the best part
about losing my head
getting lost in you
is that
it scares the shit out of me

3.
it's about living
and spinning
and winning
the battle
of great over good
of can over could
dont wait. escape.
it's fate
no hesitation.
screw reservations.
just spin. and win. and live.
give in to real.
feel.
own alone
a solo of one
go numb
crumble, stumble.
whatever comes
take it and run
and spin
and fall
you'll win it all
when life is done
it's always one
who lives
that gives the best
a chance
a dance
romance

vampires!

Cool outdoor advertising for the series premiere of a new vampire show, True Blood, in New Zealand.

what a fantastic weekend

Friday I had a lovely soccer practice with my new team, then went out with them for a few beverages. I'm starting a second soccer team (co-ed indoor)...seeing as how they don't know what is wrong with RoboKnee and have given me the "ok" to play soccer.

Saturday I didn't do much. And by that I mean I painted this super awesomely rad box!




Also Saturday, my long-distance manlove informed he is moving to Denver! WHAAAAAAAAT?! Hooray! To celebrate, a picture of us at the zoo:


Sunday I had my first game with the new soccer team, bright and early. We lost but it was loads o' fun. And other than that, I just relaxed and iced RoboKnee. Oh, and ate something with BBQ sauce on it.

How can you tell me that isn't a really good weekend?? You can't.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

write write write

Ok, enough blog silence from me. I haven't been writing. My sincerest apologies. Ok, not my sincerest, but apologies nonetheless.

Why haven't I been writing you ask? For many reason.

I've been busy eating. Anything and everything. For the first time in my life I've tried to cope with emotional stress by challenging my stomach's limit. In case you forgot, I'm in a long distance relationship (AKA I'm in an UNdiet).

I've been busy having heart-to-hearts with RoboKnee. We go up and down, me and knee. Some days it likes me and doesn't hurt (granted I'm on pain meds for it). Some days it is mad at me for having to walk anywhere, and the pain is enough to, well, hurt a lot. It's like a bad relationship where you know you need each other, but it's always up&downs, and you can't figure out what's wrong. That's right. I'm in an unhealthy relationship with my own knee.

I've been busy with not being busy. I don't know many people. Sometimes I feel like I don't do anything. In fact, I do SO much nothing that I don't have time for anything else, even writing.

I've been busy with trying to figure out my life. So busy and so stressed that I've neglected the one thing that helps de-stressify me: writing.

Needless to say, I'm back.

And I've stopped harassing my body with extra food (and extra bacon on everything). And I've stopped hating on RoboKnee, and we're working through our differences. And I've stopped being un-busy and started filling my free time. And, well, I haven't stopped trying to figure out my life. I never will.

And that, my friends, is that.

anyone for an HJ?


i do love hugs.

Monday, March 9, 2009

vino&movies, jungle tummy, bird calling 101

a few things I learned this weekend...

1. a giant bottle of bella sera pino grigio

plus a first-time screening of Vantage Point

makes your brain hurt. after guzzling vino and trying to watch it, Montastic now looks like this:

AND THAT'S A FACT


2. jungle curry makes a jungle in your tummy

Now if you know me (and you damn well should) you know I can handle a lot of spicy food. And, while I did handle this, I haven't sweat from eating something spicy in a long time. Perhaps picking 6 or 7 thai red chili peppers out of the broth should have been my first clue. no amount of rice could cool the pit of flames in my tumtum. my boylove and i also shared a scorpion (a tasty cocktail). but, let it be known the jungle curry stung far more than the scorpion.


3. mad bird-calling skills are an essential for every zoo-goer
video

Monday, March 2, 2009