lies i tell myself every morning

you slept well.
you won't drink coffee this morning. caffeine is bad bad bad.
you are content. life is great.
you've accepted the commute as "relaxing"
you love advertising.
you don't want to move out of CO.
everyone will notice if your purse doesn't match your outfit.
you like cheerios.
today will be much better.
today, you'll take all your vitamins. it's easy. they're right there on the counter.
everyone is going to see that slight skin discoloration on your face.
work is important. so is a career.

all lies.
in reality... i never really sleep well and thus, i drink coffee every morning. i absolutely love it. black and rich. occassionally, when i'm feeling whimsical and girly, i'll add some creamer. rare. but i'll do it. also, i'm not content. if i had my way there are a lot of things i would change about my life right now. it's just a matter of not having the means (financial, emotional, psychological, geographic etc). My commute is not relaxing. I'm in a total braindead zone in the morning. Then, on the return... it's 10 degrees hotter in my car than outside (no AC) and really I'm just sweating to the oldies. Except.. I have a non-functioning radio so I'm just sweating to nothing. I'm not sure I love advertising and I'm still fairly sure I want to move from CO. No one fuckin cares if my purse doesn't match. and if they do, screw them. they're no good anyway. cheerios aren't that good. today will be the same as yesterday. you wont take your vitamins, they upset your stomach. no one's looking at your face.. it's the rack that really gets noticed (wink wink). and no, a career is not important. not at age 23. not when you can do a million other things.