la parola del giorno

it's back, the word of the day. the parola del giorno.
today's word is one i haven't heard of before:
giovare (v) - to be useful (pronounced: joe-var-ay)
or giovevole (adj) - useful (pronounced: joe-vay-voe-lay)

Now, on to business.
A few things I've found useful lately:

- the microwave at work
- exercising
- work boys
- colored pens
- hair gel
- vodka sodas
- cold weather
- self-control
- pictures
- revlon colorstay lip stuff
- patience
- pretending
- sweat rags
- beef
- reality
- fantasy
- sharpies
- plugs
- the IT guy
- conversation
- loneliness
- post-its
- quarters
- h20
- blogs
- both daves
- binder clips
- sarcasm
- boobs

suggestions please

so, regarding my list of why women are better than men... please send me your reasons. Email or comment me about them.
Sethel already sent me some good ones, so the more the merrier.

please.

and thank you.


-montastic.

sit vs stand

A couple weeks ago I was reading one of those lengthy lists of why it is better to be a man than to be a woman. My favorite of the 100 reasons, reason #49, was "You can eat a banana in a hardware store."
Hilarious.

So I started looking for lists of the opposite: why being female is better. I was disappointed. You see, the list about male superiority was funny in that it talked about things guys just get to do that are fun/weird/cool/etc without getting judged. The girls reasons, on the other hand, were all ways we "get" to use our bodies to get out of responsibility/manipulate men/get free things/take the easy road/be pampered.

Poppycock I say!

Screw those women. Not to say that I haven't enjoyed a few perks of the like. But the fact that the was ALL that the list was pissed me off a bit. So I will be formulating my own list of reasons being female could potentially maybe be better. (I have no loyalty to this belief (that women are better... or that men or better for that matter) but I see it as a challenge more than anything.)

Coming soon.

Dear Tazo Berryblossom White,

There ain't nothing about you that don't do something for me.
Love,
Montastic

sheer genius

great dance moves stay stylish

i found this 3 months ago. so if you've seen it before, than i apologize. i apologize that you have to be entertained and slightly humored AGAIN.

timmy. the turtle.

he was cold one day.
molto freddo.
considering he is cold-blooded, it makes sense.
he came across a boiling pot of hot acqua.
cold timmy + warm acqua = timmy jumping into the pot.
not his best choice.

i hope you enjoyed my bilingual story.

appendix a

other reasons i love fall:
pumpkin-flavored everything. namely blue moon pumpkin ale, starbucks pumpkin spice lattes and pumpkin pie or pumpkin ice cream from anywhere.
and hail.
and snow days! (a redeeming quality of colorado)

finally, a great commercial

everything about this works.

one man's trash...

from yourdailyawesome.com

"British artists Tim Noble and Sue Webster make sculptures that are unremarkable in and of themselves, but which cast amazing realistic shadows onto gallery walls. This first piece is “Dirty White Trash (With Gulls)”, composed from the artist’s rubbish from the six months it took to create piece (plus a pair of dead seagulls, for good measure)."







fan-freakin-tastic.
don't act like you're not blown away by the awesomeness of this.

2 days left of summa summa summatime

today is the second-to-last day of summer. and i'm pumped.
don't get me wrong, i had a really awesome summer. my contract job gave me the freedom to travel and see my entire family, college friends, and old high school friends. i saw graduations, weddings, and numerous bars. it was wonderful. it was hot.
i heart fall. and here is why.
i love scarves. and sweaters (girls look HOT in sweaters)
i love bundling up and walking to a coffee shop and sipping a steaming hot latte on the walk back.
rain is the most wonderful thing ever. when it rains i usually feel at peace and happier. and it doesn't stop me from going about my day. it just makes it better.
leaves change pretty colors and all that, but more importantly, it smells like fall. and fall smells here smell like oregon all the time. and i love that.
i get to cook warm, delicious meals without heating up the apartment for 3 days.
snuggling. 'nuff said.
my favorite holiday, halloween, is right in the thick of fall. i love the little dressed up chitlins.
some of my favorite memories are from the fall. fall was when i returned to school from a summer away and saw all my friends. it was a time to figure out what the next few months had in store for my life. this year is no different. i'm moving and may get hired on at my job. change is the air, and so is mutha-fuggin fall!!
please, oh please, tell me you love it too.

dear Rosebeard

i want to boing your curly hair. i like you because you don't speak italian so it makes me feel better than you in at least one, arbitrary way. i also like that you are a super nerd. i like to think that i could concept with you for weeks on end without finding a limit to our collective imagination or ability to inspire each other. i like that i haven't known you that long and have spent less time in the same state as you than out of it but still feel some pressing desire to keep in contact. and i hope you feel the same way. i like that you are prone to numerous nicknames from me. i'm quite certain you are the only person i know who can be over-worked AND under-worked at the same time. drinking in NY is a beautiful, blurry memory, particularly getting dropped off in the middle of nowhere by the useless cabby. i am proud to be the least-stupidest ad girl, but am still awaiting my certificate... and for that you are not a valuabilitynessismist. i think you are very hard to impress. me too. if i were to make up a word for you it would be stratimation.
until our next encounter,
mad morgan rackham

a brilliant nugget

"Appealing workplaces are to be avoided. One wants a room with no view, so imagination can meet memory in the dark."
Annie Dillard

peeves

My top 10 pet peeves:
10. like, um, you know, um, like, um, you know?
9. slow drivers
8. overconfidence in mediocrity
7. using speakerphone
6. popular fashion.. guess what? you look like shit.
5. bragging
4. blaming others
3. loud, slurpy, smacking eating
2. when people are late, on anything
1. really loud cell phone rings. put that shit on vibrate for the love of god.

hold the elevator.

you see the elevator doors closing as you approach it. you gauge your proximity to said elevator. you then decide of you want to be THAT GUY, the one who demands that everyone else put their life on hold because you were a few seconds too late.

so, when is it appropriate to yell "hold the elevator"?

you tell me. because the way i see it, there is a fine line between me being a jerk (by not "holding" for you) and you being an impatient sloth (by not accepting that you were just a little to slow this morning).

i say that if you are within in 15 feet of the elevator, it is appropriate to ask for the hold. if you are 15-30 feet away, you better show some hustle. if you are 30+ feet away, i expect a full blown sprint, gucci heels or not miss thang.

perhaps the better way to decide if you are close enough to project your slower-than-me schedule on the person the in the elevator is time. in other words, get to the door you yelled at within 5 seconds. that's quite a long time. especially considering the elevator in this building takes only about 4 seconds to go from ground floor to the 15th, where i land.

while i would never yell "hold the elevator," i really don't mind holding the elevator for someone. all i ask is for a little effort and a bit of hustle on your part.

good day sir.

someone else's moment

if you haven't heard of this, i understand.
but that's why i'm hear to share it with you.


it's called a blind camera. and instead of capturing your moment, it remembers that instant and searches the web for other images taken at that precise instant in time. so, instead of remembering your moment, you will be instantly connected to a world of other people's moments.

freakin cool.

link:http://www.blinksandbuttons.net/buttons_en.html

my tasty treats

heres the reason you should read the other blogs linked on the right:
(photos have been stolen from various internets... and i feel they demonstrate the caliber of each respective blogger).

Daveypants

he is my endless inspiration. and one sexy, sexy beast.

Matteo

he knows about vino and defines bello. he causes great laughter in my soul. i miss him so.

Marcus

he comes from good swedish stock. he's hairy. he's wise.

Mike

i dont even know him that well, but i like his style.

Steve-a-roo

he updates regularly and is one silly writer.

Sethel

he's opionated. he lets me be his friend. he's old.

Jason

he runs his mouth. disclaimer: he can be mushy gushy gross.

Angie

she has the power to make kids cry, but doesn't use it. she's a philanthropist.

a buck-fifty

for those of you who don't know, i used to weigh over two benjamins. barely. but nonetheless, 205lbs. i was my heaviest my senior year of high school.

i never was really insecure about my weight and didn't actually realize how big i was until now, when i look back at old pictures.

since then, i can think of three changes in my life that helped me lose weight.

one, i went away to college where i ate better and walked a lot, not to mention i was roommates with the pencil-thin ms perrypants who motivated me to go to the gym and get foxy. i would say over the first two years i lost about 17 pounds without even really focusing on losing weight... just being healthier and more active.

two, during my junior year (jan 2005) at college my mom and i had a long-distance (she lives in CA) weight loss competition. this was the brutal battle between mother and daughter. i counted every calorie and worked out 5 to 6 days a week for an hour each time. this wasn't because i was crazy about the weight itself, but i was determined to win. ten weeks later, when the competition ended, my mom and i were both rockstars, but of course, i must claim my title as first place winner supreme. i lost 18 pounds.

three, after graduating UO last year, i moved out here to denver. i didn't know a single person. so i had a ton of free time. not only did i focus on myself, i had absolutely no social life and used all that extra time for running. since last year i've lost 8 more poundies.

so, if you've been doing the math, that puts me at 162 pounds. two glorious pounds away from being in the 150s. the buck-fifties. the last time i was in the 150s i was probably a freshman in high school. yikes.

so here's my goal. by the end of the year i want to lose 8 pounds and find myself comfortably in the 150s. (and no, this isn't going to be some overhyped bridget jones' diary -esque weight loss chronicle)

we'll see what happens. eight is a lot considering i don't have too much fat to lose, i already work out and eat healthy which means i'll have to really amp up both categories. oh yeah, and let us not forget about the holidays. halloween (my favorite). thanksgiving (gobble bee-otch) and xmas (where da ham at?).

i'll let you know of any developments in my progress.

two smiles. one big. one small.

first the big smile. not because it's more important. but because it is bigger. it's bigger because it's a life change. and it's bigger because it is also coupled with uncertainty and, as a result, it is invigorating.

big smile:
moving downtown soon (pending a rental application)

this is a big smile in the moments when it is, in fact, a smile. sometimes it's a bunched-up what-am-i-doing cringe. but when it's a smile, it's big and radiant.
this may be the only time for a while that i can afford to live downtown for a bit. so i'm trying to make that happen. it's time for a change, excitement, new friends.
please remind me of this when i am in shock and miss living with jones.


now the small smile. it may be small but it makes me feel all-around warm inside. sometimes, the small smiles like this even make me a little bit happier with humanity.

small smile:
my italian student gave me a raise

i didn't ask for it. i didn't even suggest that i was in any way in need of more money. money never even came up. i would tutor for free anyway seeing as how i love it. but he said i deserve it. he said i should charge more anyway because i'm good and he learns a lot from me. i was flattered and humbled. thank you sir. and you're welcome.


what's your big and small smile for today? hmm?

my first baby

and i shall name it Captain Awesome.


and i shall count down the days until i can use it on real snow.


my bank account may be feeling the blow of my recent sniagrab purchase. but i'll show it who the boss is around here when i steal away a couple hundred more for my ski pass.

then guess what? i'm going to panic a bit, seeing as how i'm a contract employee and thus, very disposable.... unlike my income.

graffiti for good, not evil.

i love graffiti.

i saw some on the way to work today. (not an unsual occurence).

but today was different. the best graffiti i've seen in denver yet.

lots of hearts.

"frank loves greg."

hell yes frank.


..and for todays fun fact, the word graffiti is italian. imagine that! the plural of graffito, meaning a scratch or scratched; from the verb graffiare, meaning to scratch.

Oh dear lord

I laughed so hard when I watched this. Maybe I was just in the right mindset.
too damn funny.

Pavarotti dies at 71, his voice lives on

Whether or not you enjoy opera, you can't deny the power of Luciano Pavarotti's voice. For those of you who have not heard, he died this morning in Modena, Italy at the age of 71, losing the battle with pancreatic cancer.

The article on msnbc.com (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20607839/) really captured how I feel about Pavarotti's talent:

"“Luciano’s voice was so extraordinarily beautiful and his delivery so natural and direct that his singing spoke right to the hearts of listeners whether they knew anything about opera or not,” Metropolitan Opera music director James Levine said in a statement."




As someone who belives in the power of words, lyrics, music, and voice... I find this to be not only newsworthy but an opportunity to be inspired by something amazing in someone else.