Monday, December 15, 2008

496th post

it's mofuggin fuh-reeezin in Dtown today!

ok well it started sunday morning. snow took out our power. ah well. but then the snow stopped. the power came back on. i made my coffee. all was well.

the the arctic hell came through. last night, my dear friends, it reached -15 degrees. on the way to work this morning, it had warmed up to a toasty -9 degrees.

this was me in my hoopty, on the ride to work:

while i look constipated, i assure you that i was just frigid with record-breaking temps.

here are the top 5 essentials to keep with you or near you in weather like this:

5. a double-threat scarf (brings out your eyes AND keeps your neck warm)
4. a woolen peacoat (WITH hood!). trust me, these keep you warmer than any jacket ever will.
3. blistex medicated balm, obvs! your non-cracked and non-bleeding lips will thank you.

2. A string of curse words that flow together with good rhythm. That way, when everything you touch freezes your skin off, when every breath burns your lungs with icy cold air, when your car barely rattles to a start, and when the city feels as though Mr Freeze has taken can be sure to yell said string of curse words.
1. someone to hug! this will in no way help you survive the harsh elements. but let's face it, hugs are nice.

This public service announcement brought to you by Montastic.

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