Dear Toilet Seat Pee Sprinkler,
Seriously? In the ladies room? Who hovers anymore? Use a toilet seat cover and sit your ass down. Your quads and my non-stranger's pee-covered legs will thank you.
Sincerely,
Montastic
Dear EasyGlide BIC Pen,
You make me think dirty things.
Sincerely,
Montastic
Dear Every Postman Ever,
Chase thinks you are hot and enjoys how you carry such big packages.
Sincerely,
Montastic
Dear RoboKnee,
Decide what you're doing with your life already. No one likes a complacent lazy ass. Figure your shit out.
Sincerely,
Montastic
Dear Man Love,
You are smokin hot and I'm sorry you had to hear me karaoke.
Sincerely,
Montastic
Dear Stinky Feet,
You aren't doing anyone any favors. Eww.
Sincerely,
Montastic
1 comment:
I can't believe you threw me under the bus like that. For the record it's just UPS, FedEx and DHL men, no USPS. Thank you very much.
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