a couple old writings.

as I am about to begin a new chapter, i decided to go back and read old chapters (so to speak)...in the form of old writings.

my writings largely have to do with personal relationships. anyway, i found some interesting, some hard to read, some emotive, some enraging, some bittersweet.

and so...i thought i should share a little on my blog before i lost the nerve.

these aren't in order, and i'm not up to the task of sharing when they were written.

1.
She remembers your last goodbye
because she feared you couldn't be friends.
you still aren't, and are strangers now.

She remembers your last goodbye
because it was in a text message.
you lost her respect, and never will get it.

She doesn't remember your last goodbye
because she thinks she was drugged.
you'll never hear from her again, and don't deserve to.

She remembers your last goodbye
because she whispered it at you in her rearview mirror
you'll never understand, and should stop saying you do.

She doesn't remember your first meeting
because she was wildly insecure with guys.
you were her first love.

She remembers your first meeting
because you looked great in black.
you were the insecure one.

She remembers your first meeting
because you seemed lighthearted and fun.
you hid your true self well.

She remembers your first meeting
because it was something new.
you were chatty and awkward.

2.
the best part
about losing my head
getting lost in you
is that
it scares the shit out of me

3.
it's about living
and spinning
and winning
the battle
of great over good
of can over could
dont wait. escape.
it's fate
no hesitation.
screw reservations.
just spin. and win. and live.
give in to real.
feel.
own alone
a solo of one
go numb
crumble, stumble.
whatever comes
take it and run
and spin
and fall
you'll win it all
when life is done
it's always one
who lives
that gives the best
a chance
a dance
romance