wednesday things

Q:
the length of my hair is to stupid as
stupid is to ______________

A:
the length of my hair



Dear Bum With "Visions of an Egg McMuffin" Sign,
You and me both brosef! Those things aren't cheap. And yet I love them. I actually was going to go get one this morning, for funsies, then realized they're over $3. So I decided not to. Sausage McMuffins are only $1. Unfortunately I don't like those as much. What I'm trying to say, mr bum, is that you should change your sign to "Visions of a Sausage McMuffin." It'll be much less overwhelming to the McMuffin-wise driver because they'll think you only want one of their hard-earned dollars instead of three. Then again, if you also dislike the sausage variety McMuffin, please disregard my words and carry on my wayward son.
Sincerely,
Montastic



If you haven't seen Shannon wear an irish flag as a cape out to the bars, incorporate it into her dance moves, and run rapidly in place to simulate the speed necessary to make the cape flap in the wind....then you clearly cannot understand why her and I should be friends foeva.



Weird: buying celery and ranch at the store because someone else makes it sound so good, even though you strongly dislike celery...then realizing the idiocy of this the second you start driving home and smell the celery in the car. ugh.
Weirder: telling your brother you feel ready to start a family
Weirdest: goat eyes