My first 14er! Mt Bierstadt...Saturday May 31st

right after our arrival at the top...14,060 feet baby! my first 14er. i'm so proud!


a wee bit more lovin from montastic at the top


pix to come soon!

i done did it!

Well ladies and gents, Montastic is back to feeling normal after totally whooping some butt at the Bolder Boulder 10k on Memorial Day. My goal was to beat an hour. Last year I ran it in 1:05:40 ..which is roughly a 10.5 min/mile pace. Well not only did I meet my goal, I blew it out of the water! I'm so proud of myself. My finishing time was 55:50...at exactly 9 min/mile pace. My mile breakdown:

Anyway, I feel great. I pushed myself really damn hard. and, once again, I'm completely impressed with what the human body can achieve. If you had told Fattastic of 2 years ago that Montastic would do this, she would have probably doubted you.
My mom kicked some butt too by running the whole thing at altitude! Good for her! Sea level is for sissies, as they say.
A couple pix:
5:30 AM before leaving for the race

After finishing and feeling rather dandy! So excited that I made a stranger take my picture since I had no one to share my personal victory with.

The dashing duo - finished running and sweaty as all heck.

finalmente! un po' d'italiano...con Kobe!

Ok, so who knew Kobe Bryant spoke italian? I didn't!
Of course, only one of my readers can understand this (holla matteo bellissimo!)...but check out the youtube link for a translation if you so choose.
Ps. this makes me happy because guess what?? I speak Italian!

and your Friday Funday Song Send-Off

'roid machine!

Montastic presents: Adventures in K20 Protein Water Mix Drinking
Disclaimers: Please ignore that the pictures are backwards. iPhoto does this and I'm far too lazy to fix it. Secondly, enjoy the horrifically disgusting neon pink nail polish. If you know me, you know I strongly dislike pink. I found it ironic and annoying that I did this to myself.

1. The Product:
Special K20 Protein Water Mix. A free sample I found in my Special K. Iced tea enhanced with 5g of protein, and 5g of Fiber. Designed to make you feel fuller longer. hmmm. I'm a skeptic.


2. The Murky Concoction:
Well, at least it smells like normal iced tea....which I usually enjoy.


3. Down the Hatch:
Awaiting that horrible powdery taste that comes with most protein drinks. Dear Baby Jesus, please make this a pleasurable experience.


4. To vom or not to vom?
Ok this was not my real reaction. It was actually quite tasty.


5. What's in this again?
Ok so it tastes fairly good. But it's a little sweet for Montastic (who does not enjoy sweet beverages). I bet it's full of sugar and crap to make it taste like that. What's this?! ZERO grams of sugar... nice work K20.


6. The Verdict:
Well, I'll drink it. Will I buy it? Probably not. My advice to Special K here is that, while they did good marketing by including a free sample (who doesn't like free things?) they should also include a coupon and information about where in the store the product is located. Because it could be on the breakfast aisle, or the drink aisle, or the supplement aisle. And Montastic doesn't like spending too much time looking for something that isn't on sale or easy to find. The end.

You're So Gangster

The vid below is a few ladies testing out some satellite radio at your neighborhood best buy..and gettin' down with themselves..as they damn well should! Well unfortunately, there is no sound. So, with my delightful musical knowledge, I've decided the best track for this video is "You're So Gangsta" by Chromeo (a group I enjoy fo sho).
For best results, start the surveillance video (the top one) about 10 seconds after the Chromeo video (the bottom one). Watch the surveillance vid with the Chromeo jam as the kickin' soundtrack and enjoy the brilliance I have created. Montastic's gift to you.

Best Buy Dance Off - Watch more free videos

"Why would you have fries, when you can have bacon fries?"

I know you're all eager for the Friday Funday Song Send-Off, but first, let us all bond over the common belief that everything tastes better with bacon.
And a perhaps awesome, perhaps disgusting creation: Bacon Salt.

There site is mildly entertaining with things like Operation: Bacon Salt. This, of course, is an effort to provide Bacon Salt to those serving in foreign conflicts.
Or check out the sillier blog with recipes like a Bacon Salt Martini, (ok so this sounds actually gross), Bacon Salt clothing, links to other glorious bacon-related blogs, and all the zany Bacon Salt happenings you can dream of. Another reason this won my affections is that on their blog they include a comic from XKCD comics, one I've written about in the past.... which makes us kindred spirits in the blogging world for the fact that we read the same online dorky comics, and that we all enjoy bacon.

(picture from Mrbaconpants.com)

That said, I haven't eaten bacon in a while.... doesn't quite fit into my healthy lifestyle. But this bacon salt could be the next big thing... just you wait.

the best run in a while

you know how sometimes a run can turn a shitty day into a great day? well my run did just that. and i feel 1000x better than about 2 hours ago.

highlights:
- girl-who-needs-to-eat-more getting totally owned by her sweet ass bernese mt dog.
- running out along platte river and getting sprinkled on by the liquid sunshine
- running back through downtown and people watching on the way
- seeing the same people near the dog park that i always see...they're like my running friends even though we've never met
- that guy with that gorgeous husky and bod
- skater punks hanging at the park because that's what you do when you're 13.
- so sweaty and sore. so good.

my next investment

will be a gift to myself, that keeps on giving.

this is why i love music

because it is universal!
Here are two videos from completely different genres of music. When I heard Pitbull's "Go Girl" for the first time, I thought the catchy little whistle sounded familiar. Then it finally came to me.
Take a listen. Notice something similar between Pitbull (hip hop) and the Arctic Monkeys (indie rock)? Very cool.

None Shall Pass

One of my favorite jams from Aesop Rock is None Shall Pass..arguably it IS my favorite Well today I decided to see if there was a music vid for it and, thanks to good ol' YouTube, I discovered such a video. And it is awesomely weird and brilliant. Too much good stuff Aesop, just too much. Loves it!

lack of focus

darn those socks! literally.

Heavens to Betsy! This is so fantastic. In the 1930s George W. Crane, MD, PhD crafted a Marital Rating Scale (among many other things) for rating your wife in your marriage. As a counselor, he designed this test to allow couples to give each other feedback on their marriage. The chart is below and it absolutely cracks me up.
How awesomely chauvinistic to be able to demerit your wife on paper for having crooked pantyhose seams, wearing too much face cream to bed, or failing to darn socks regularly. hahaha oh DARN IT ALL!
But don't worry candypants, you can get points back by being able to hold an interesting conversation (I know it's hard sweat pea, but do try) or by always asking your husband for his opinion regarding important decisions (because he knows better, duh). Man I can't even imagine living back then. But I would be willing to go back in time and try it out. I find it endlessly fascinating.
Click the pic for a larger view or check out the short article yourself.

10K? ok!

Well, it's about that time again...the BolderBoulder time! The mamasita will be joining me for the Memorial Day weekend as well as the 10k on Monday. As you can tell from this picture below, we are fiercely competitive athletes. I will be running in support of Oregon. She will represent the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. All of them.

So that should be a hoot! I want to do 5-6 minutes better than last year and make it under one hour. But that's ambitious. I think I can do it.

Also, I am planning on signing up for another 10k two weeks later, Run the Rockies.

It's a 10K up in the mountains where you from from Frisco to Copper. Or the other way around, I don't remember. So it could be totally sweet. Of course, it's largely downhill which is hard on my knees. And it's very early in the mountains requiring a crazy early drive up...no worries. It shall be done. Assuming I sign up for it, that is.

In other news, I hate running. It is generally awful and very hard on your body. It is also very rewarding. The end.

TGIF esteemed readers!

an end-of-the-crapola-week funny fotografia (courtesy of angilicious)

and chase's response to it: "That's you in African American Male Form. Love You!"

and, of course, your friday funday song send-off!

cuz i'm like a lethal brand, too much for any man.

and so i say to the weekend... see ya later chump! hello something better!

song: Girl's Got Rhythm by ACDC

cool installation PSA in denver

I've seen a couple of these totalled cars placed around D-town. This one is right near my office, by the RTD station. I saw another in front of Coors field.

The one by Coors field was an SUV and I only saw it while I was driving by. But I wanted to go back and see what it was about. First off, because I'm always interested in placement advertising or messaging like this. And secondly, who doesn't want to examine a totally smashed up car and see the metal carnage. I know I do!
Fortunately, I bumped into this one (no pun intended) walking to lunch yesterday.

Upon closer inspection, it kind of turned my stomach in a morbid sort of way. It's an ad promoting seat belt usage...reminding the CO driver that they are going to start enforcing seatbelt-wearing more strictly. The sticker on the back window had the totals of car crash fatalities where those killed were not wearing seatbelts. Of course, it got me thinking that someone could have died in this car. An above-ground tomb because some idiot wasn't wearing a seatbelt. Anyway, it did its job quite well. And just in the time it took me to quickly snap 3 photos, probably 25-30 people stopped to look at it as well.
Eye-catching. Emotive. Effective. Well done.

Dear Little Blip on the Dating Radar,

Next time grow a pair.

Kindest Regards,
Montastic

my 2 year journey to 'rado residency

Well I've been in Colorado for 2 years now. (Well, technically it will be 2 years in June). And I FINALLY got my legal residency by way of my new license. A license to be a stone-cold 'rado fox, that is!
I've officially shed my California-ness (except for my family who all lives there and I miss!). Though I haven't lived there for almost 6 years anyway. So farewell California. HOLLA newly official residency in Colorado.
As dorky as this sounds, this is very exciting for Montastic.

A few differences of the 2-years-ago Montastic:
She moved here without ever having been here.
She didn't anyone in the state (except an uncle she hadn't seen in years).
She was in a very serious relationship.
She was 21 pounds heavier.
She had dark brown hair.
She didn't plan to stay past the length of her 10-week internship.
She drove a Honda Accord.
She was more fluent in Italian.
She had never ran a 10k.
She was 22.
She did not have a blog.
She had no clue how much would change in a short time.

more from lefthandedtoons

As a writer, you can trust me that this comic is hilarious. Please click for a larger view, iffin you feel so inclined.


This comic with the "boob" in it brought you by Montastic.

How I Spent My Stimulus

This blog is quite enlightening. Simply put, people submit a picture and a brief explanation of how they spent their stimulus money from da man. There are very serious uses, very silly uses, and very stupid uses. all in all, it's a great insight into human wants versus needs.
A taste:

another brilliantly sexist vintage ad

the body copy says:
Though she was a tiger lady, our hero didn’t have to fire a shot to floor her. After one look at his Mr. Leggs slacks, she was ready to have him walk all over her. That noble styling sure soothes the savage heart! If you’d like your own doll-to-doll carpeting, hunt up a pair of these he-man Mr. Leggs slacks. Such as our new automatic wash wear blend of 65% “Dacron®” and 35% rayon–incomparably wrinkle-resistant. About $12.95 at plush-carpeted stores.

hahaha oh man. found on boingboing. what a gem.

thank you for this

sometimes something so perfect falls into your life that it makes you think the lord is literally parting the clouds with his big lord-hands, poking his head out of the opening, peering down at you, and smiling.
today's gift plopped onto my radar via one ms angiepants.
and that gift i share with you. kitty wigs. obv!

Lair o' The Bear wisdom

Well today I decided to run the 4 mile hike I did yesterday at the Lair O' The Bear park. If that makes sense. It was 2 miles in, 2 back. And one mile of it was decidedly steep with murderous switchbacks and turned me into a cherry-face. See the sweaty, gross picture from atop the highest peak:

of course, this was NOT, in fact, the highest peak in the area. But it was where Montastic had to turn around for fear of passing out in the warm, Mother's Day sun.

Needless to say, I have a few kernals of life-wisdom, and a few Montastic self-observations.

1. Mountain bikers are incredibly good-looking and so damn friendly
2. They also are good a pleasant small talk as they pass gasping-panting-stinky runners up the trail.
3. I need trail-running shoes...or for a celebrity to make big ol' foot blisters trendy so that I can just rock those instead of new kicks.
4. I'm in much better shape than I thought physically. And much more mentally dependent on exercise than expected.
5. I absolutely love H20. It is so wet. So delicious. Once it hits your lips...it's so good!
6. I still have a phobia of running past small dogs for fear of attack.
7. It is most likely that at the top of Bear Creek Trail (a top that I did not reach) there is an animatronic bear that explains the history of bearhood upon the receipt of a quarter in its coin-slot.
8. Colorado's beauty is so amazingly accessible.

my friday prayer

It's just one of those days for Montastic.

why?

why would you make your body look like this?

or EVER buy a pot for a plant that looked like this?


don't do it people! both are equally creepy and disturbing. (both found on boingboing)

This public service announcement brought to you by Montastic.

Man Babies

This is a bizarre site I found on neatorama this morning. Someone has taken the silly liberty of photoshopping pictures of dads with their sons and switching their heads. It's slightly awkward and slightly pleasing all at once!

check out the rest.

a tribute to skittles

an ode to my favorite tasty treat, and my lovely kitty Skittles, who was recently put down.

not only is this
a dress made out of skittles wrappers, but it's pretty damn cute and a cut that would look positively dreamy on my body! ergo, i need to make one.

found on neatorama

the best part about advertising

is making fun of it!
Here's a list of the 50 Greatest Commercial Parodies of All Time. Below are a few of my favs that made me smile today.

just another blahful day

trying to be upbeat. so i figured i'd repost this from steve-o's blogaroo. it makes me laugh every freakin time. from Jimmy Kimmel's Unnecessary Censorship bit

best voicemail ever

Left on my phone at 2:45 AM by one Mr Hughby:

Hello lady.
Uh we just drove by the place here you threw up. Ya, you know it’s me. And, I’m calling you. Which, you’re supposed to pick up your cell phone but apparently you live in another state and another time zone and might be having sex with another dude.

So you should probably call me tomorrow and let me know all about one of the three things I just let you know about. I mean you can actually not talk about the other things and just talk about time zones because I’m really intrigued in that. But, you can also talk to me about your daily life and the sex with the other dudes.

So uh,
Which brings me to point A

(massive laughter in the background “Point A?!”)

Have you met anybody? Have you met anybody… who is now your soulmate? Do they make you feel whole? At the same time, picture that I put my hands together, my fingers were intertwined while I said whole…. Do they make you feel whole. Did you find your soulmate? That’s a good deal.

Which brings me to point B.
Finding soulmates on the internet. Um… I thought that one day I would find my soulmate on the internet. And uh I was wondering if maybe you did that. Did you uhh.. Did you find somebody on the internet.

(yelling in the background “How old are they??”)

Was this person older than me? If you met someone on the internet that is older than me, we need to talk. Because I know all of them. And I’ll give you a really good reference for them. Because probably they’re better than everybody else you ever met, ‘cause I know them.

(lots of giggling)

I’m gonna hang up the uh phone now

(background talking “What about point C?”)

I don’t even know what point C is. Um this message is not as good as singing “I will survive” on my phone um, but it still acknowledges that I love you and you should probably call me back and say hello and take your sexual frustration out on the person you love from the internet.

Presenting: Mr Barnaby Pickles

But you can call my new ride Mr Pickles for short.

friday pleasantries via gmail chat

him: dinosaur killer
me: umm. uhh... penguin hater
him: seal clubber
me: tomato licker
him: fun hater
me: true
him: you are too easy
me: also true
him: ummm
me: CHUCKICACHUCKICACHUCKICACHUCKICACHUCKICA!!
him: ¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
me: listen, i don't speak spanish
him: but you speak puerto rican right?
me: Si
him: cuando es la noche de del queso
me: all i know how to say in puerto rican is "Castillo White Rum"
him: con coca
me: please don't use profanity.
him: whatever
you are still edgy after you lost brett michaels to rock of love
me: i'm still edgy after that gnarly chinese food yesterlunch
him: did you get the "puppy Surprise" ?
me: i believe gaseous is the proper word.
or maybe it's "dreamy."
either way, it's a fuckin whimsical experience
him: poopy surprise

your usual weekend send-off

a feel-good song for this coming weekend.
and i'm so glad we made it...through the week!

the other sad news of the week

As you may have read about 3 posts ago, we had to put our family dog, Chica, down on Wednesday after she has a seizure. It was a very sad day for my family and I wish I could have been there.
Unfortunately, and in an awful coincidence, the following morning, yesterday, my mom called to let me know that my cat, Skittles, was going to have to be put down too. She had a blod clot in her leg which would require amputation. But because she apparently also had heart disease and cancer on her ears, she wouldn't survive the surgery. I got my kitty a loooong time ago. i had wanted a kitten for a long time and a lady overheard me asking my mom for one (for the billionth time) over lunch and told us she had just found an abandoned litter and had some kittens that needed homes. Skittles was the runt of the litter. She never grew very big (as you can see in the pictures/video below) and was like a perma-kitten. She was scrappy as hell and always looked ragged and beat up because she never learned how to take care of herself. But I loved her scrappy little ass and I cannot believe she is gone within one day of Chica.
Below are some pictures and a video of my little scruffy Skittles, sent from my mom's cell phone yesterday while they were at the vet. my dad went with her for support.
:(

hello my precious

well, it's been a week of ups and downs. no question about that. (another post about a big downer will be coming shortly today) but for right now...an upper!
most of you remember my hoopty:

and if you read my delightful blog, you know it's on its last leg. i love this car. and i will miss our lovely conversations and bonding.
so it is with kind, oh-so-kind, loving words that i say to it: SEE YA!
because, Montastic bought her first cartastic new ride last night!

HOLLA.

And I shall bond with it soon and come up with a name shortly.
Much thanks to Mr. Beef for taking me on my car-buying extravaganza!

if people acted like they do on facebook

pretty silly, found on adrants.

POOOOOKE!

two silly quotes from the past couple days

"I have a question. Is 44 too old?"
-asked by a 21 year old.

"Lust and gluttony are sins!"
"But so is pride. So don't be too proud to not go for something you want."
-the new motto for skankypies everywhere. hahaha brilliant.