"i've always wanted to have a little black baby from like 3 months to like 4 or 5 years old and then like, trade 'em in for a nice little white kid."
"We're gonna make them cum and cum again!"
"Take it from me, you should NOT kiss your friends."
"You are one in 300 million."
"Are you mormon?"
"No, are you?"
"Want to come up for a Coors Light?"
"I've been dreaming of my true love's kissssss!" (what Mon should have been singing to Steve, D.D.S.)
"does that say weechquootee?!"
"I like everything about you."
"Oh my god! Is Monica crab-walking?!"
"We shall be married in the morning!"
"I mean fuck...I don't find boys I ACTUALLY like. I find boys I like to look at."
"I had a scare...well...I had a situation...well, I had an experience...basically, I had sex."
"Who wants breakfast burritos?!"
"It's not a compound."
"Oh, like you're leading him on, like Brad from the bachelor. And he is DeAnna"
"so my mustard sandwich not only gave me heartburn but also sent me running for the toilet. stupid mustard, i'll never say i love that condiment again"
The above quotes do not necessarily reflect the thoughts of Montastic...ok, well one does.