time to change focus

perhaps 2 of you know what has got me down lately. well...regardless, Montastic needs to change her focus and outlook on life. because she has been in the dark place for too long now. four days of serious sadness and confusion can be blinding and detract from what is awesome in life.

here is just a small list of the many things that are awesome in my life:

my family
my ladies
davers
my peeps in portland
my extra hot coffee today
snowboard season in a few weeks
special getaway in 10 days
and the great guy I'm going with
endless possibilities in april
being healthy
writing a lot
catching up with someone important last tuesday
people in general

the only thing keeping me sane is the people that i know. and the capacities in which i know them. yes, my coffee is delicious this morning, and i write and i'm healthy. but everything on that list ended up having to do with people.
and i guess that's whats been hard lately...choosing between people. between who you want to spend your time with, when you want to spend your time with more than one person. choosing something great (a person who is important) while getting rid of something great (a person whose is also important). relationships are what make life worth living. so said person #2. i agree.

...and life is riddled with choices regarding relationships (with friends, family, and significant others). sometimes, the correctness of the choice is never validated. i'm hoping that is not the case for me.

so, Montastic is turning all her negative energy and sad thoughts around today. And hopefully by tomorrow, she can put blinders on toward the pain...and focus on the great. and making it greater.