Mindless morning talk radio alerted me to the fact that today is "Satisfied Being Single Day." I'm not sure I believe it... probably just a buncha singles wanting to have a day for themselves since all those couple folk get their day on the 14th.
Either way, I present to you:
Montastic's Top 10 Reasons to be Single.
10. loads more free time to like, do stuff.
9. oodles of skrilla saved by not going out as much.
8. it's totally fine if you wear those XXL sweatpants that give you diaper-ass. because you know you're a fox.
7. less drama to be saved for yo mama
6. shameless and gratuitous ladies nights. (or guys nights. or trannies nights. whatevs.)
5. the fascinating intricacies of the dating scene. and the even more interesting audacity of the dating scene.
4. space in bed... as far as the eye can see! a cozy sea in which to swim!
3. indulging your embarrassing habits in private. (eg: trashy celebrity gossip magazines, porn, eating a whole box of triscuits, flexing in the mirror and shouting GIVE ME MORE! MORE!)
2. all those fish in the sea. especially the weird ones that went too close to the power plant and are just a teensy bit "off."
1. you don't have to shave. ever really. not if you don't want to. ooh. furry.
2 comments:
Interesting...I find the dating scene neither fascinating nor audacious. However, such adjectives as pedantic, self-centered, nauseating, and obsequious do pop to mind.
Love It. I love being single. You know what else I love? Your XXL sweat pants. Camel Toe. Hot
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