Friday, October 3, 2008

Top 10 Things to Avoid on a First Date with Montastic

inspired by stupid morning talk radio this morning--it said men and women ALL agree the one thing to avoid on a first date is talking about politics. which i agree with...not because i think it's a point of contention but because i don't know enough about politics and i would feel stupid in that conversation.

so, enough about that. here's the 10 things you should avoid on a first date with me. i mean montastic. most from personal experience.

10. talk about how much you love your car (i care about more important things in life)

9. fish for compliments about yourself or talk bad about yourself
(i wont pay you the compliment. i'll just find you to be insecure)

8. act too buddy buddy
(i hang out with dudes all day long. if this is a date, show some freakin interest)

7. tell me you live with your grandma while pleading your case by saying that you're helping her out in her old age
(i've heard this about 4 times. i no longer buy it)

6. pop your collar
(is there a draft?)

5. ask what brand of clothing i'm wearing and talk about yours and how much of a deal you got on your shirt that still cost $150
(i'll be tempted to spill food all over you...after saying i got my shirt at Ross for %9.99)

4. make fun of other people, especially overweight ones.
(that used to be me. you have no way of knowing that, but don't be an asshole)

3. get really drunk and offer to drive me home

2. tell me how much you know about relationships because your ex-girlfriend really opened your eyes and taught you a lot.
(call her up and tell you're not over it, chump)

1. smoke
(huge turn off. you may as well not call me again)

wow...turns out i was kind of bitter this morning. hahaha oh well.
now you know what to avoid--stupid, superficial, mean, judgmental BS. simple enough.

any takers?

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