the wednesday whaaaaaaaa

wow. i have been slacking. perhaps it was because i got bonked in the head (hitting ice with my forehead after slipping whilst getting off of the chairlift snowboarding last weekend). yes, that's it. i'll blame my headbonk and likely concussion for the fact that i haven't written recently. so...that being said, i still have nothing to say. not really. but here's what i will say...

- my stripper name is Salty Caramel. and Chase is my #1 client. you know, when she feels like "splurging," as it were.

- whiskey + snowboarding + inability to get off a chairlift (even when sober) = headbonk


- my eyebrow bone is bruised. if you look close, you can tell. especially when i have no makeup on my face. i told a certain someone recently that if he looked real close, he could see it. like Santa in the night sky. except Santa is a contusion. and the night sky is my face.

- i had a suspicion that it takes two months for Montastic to fall in love. after much research (both scientific and non-scientific), it's true.

- looking for the best vacation ever???? why not try Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. I mean, right there under the "things to do" you can see the fun you'll have. golf. jump in the lake. get married. what more do you need. exercise. fun. love. i think i know where Montastic is moving in 6 months!

- i still don't know what to be for halloween. or if i'm even doing anything. which is unfortunate as it is my favorite holiday.

- most importantly, are there any eligible, non-smoking, relatively normal gemini males out there? i promised the ever-awesome Perry i would find her astrological soulmate. anyone interested please apply.

- lastly, i have a marilyn monroe's mole inspired pimple. way to try to be trendy, you zitty jerk. apologies for not smiling. pimple and i were having an argument when this picture was taken.